Fantasizing

Chapter 2

Chapter 2

The morning flew by and finally I was at lunch with my two closest friends Carmen and Eliot. We sat at our usual table, with a few other people that I didn't really talk to.. Carmen and I listened to Eliot drag on about his love life, which was really hard for him considering there were only a few boys, other than him, who were openly gay around here.

"Why can't I just find a sexy chocolate man? Like what am I doing wrong?" He whined.

Eliot wasn't as close a friend as Carmen, but we've been friends since freshman year, and I can honestly say he is a mess and as straight as a circle. He gets teased a lot for his sexuality, but never takes shit from anyone and is quick to put anybody in their place. I loved Eliot to death though and my life would be dull without him

"But all these boys up here ain't shit" he semi-yelled while swinging his head from side to side

"Boy, who are you?" Carmen asked jokingly with a giggle. I nodded in agreement and took a french fry in my mouth. I was still a little pissed at Carmen for this morning, but there was no point in showing it. I just kept to myself and put a smile on my face, just like every other time she did something I didn't like.

"You aren't all you think you are E" Carmen continued while me and her continued to giggle

"I don't see what's funny. Y'all suppose to be my girls and you think this a joke? I just can't deal with y'all" He put his hand to our face

"Don't be like that E!" I said "We love you" I said shoving his hand out of my face.

We laughed.

Once lunch was over I was the first to get up "Y'all I need to go cause I can't be late again Mr.M be trippin" I sighed "Okay Zen bye girl" Eliot said blowing a kiss. Carmen waved and yelled back "Meet me at my car right after school, we're going shopping"

I nodded, I knew she was only doing it out of guilt, but it was something. I walked out of the cafeteria searching my bag for my wallet, once I found it I opened it seeing a single 5 dollar bill. I sighed. I hated all these financial problems. I wanted new stuff, I wanted to buy things. I had a job, I just have to keep saving. I was never the best at saving. If I see something I want I just go for it, but I can't do that anymore

I don't have access to the money mama left me till I'm 18, and all that money is going to college. The warning bell rang breaking me from my thoughts I continued down the hall with my head down until I bumped head first into a muscular somebody. I looked up to see it was the one and only Manny, my ex.

I rolled my eyes and stepped to the right trying to get out the way. He stepped to the right also. I stepped to the left. He stepped to the left. I stepped back, he stepped forward. I stepped one more time to the left and he did the same mimicking my steps.

"What the hell do you want Manny?" I asked frustrated. "I just wanna talk Zen, I miss you" He said touching my chin. It was hard not melt under his touch but I had to contain myself. Truth is I missed him probably more, but I couldn't show him that.

"Zen you need to talk to me and stop avoiding me all the time, Damn it's like I can't get through to you." he said loud making the four people that were in the hallway look at us, and breaking me from my thoughts.

I looked at him like he was crazy "Manny, you act like we still together" I said "Just leave me the fuck alone." The late bell sounded and I sighed. "Can we just talk?" he pleaded. "No" I said and hurried off without looking back.

I knocked twice on the door of my history class. After a minute it opened slightly. "Ms. Davis this is your third tardy in a row, do you have a pass?" My teacher asked with a stern look on his face. "No sir, can I please explain?" I pleaded. I hated this man, but I tried to not show it all the time.

"I don't want to hear your excuses come in the classroom and take your seat" he said gesturing into the room.

"Yes Sir" I mumbled hurrying in the classroom. I took my seat in the last row, last seat and put my head in a book

I couldn't take my mind off of Manny. We had broken up just a couple of weeks after my mother's death and it had broken my heart. I was grieving back then and Manny couldn't be there for me. He didn't answer my calls, hardly came to see me anymore, and had just started being rude.

I didn't do anything about it. I was just so vulnerable. I loved Manny, I couldn't let him go just that easily so I fought. I fought for him, not knowing that he was with another girl.

It was Saturday night; I went to Manny's house to surprise him. I rang the doorbell once, then twice. I was nervous, because before that we hadn't talked in three day. I was so happy to see Manny, I felt like it was the first time again. My stomach was filled with butterflies, my palms began to sweat. I had picked out a sexy outfit and got Carmen to drive me all the way here. I rang the doorbell once more, but this time I heard feet shuffling. I felt my heart beating a million miles a minute.

I heard Manny's voice yelling from behind the door, "Hold on baby, the pizza here" I scrunched my nose in confusion, he couldn't be talking to me.

Manny opened the doors quickly head down looking in his wallet "How much do I o-" he stopped mid-sentence realizing who it really was at the door. He looked me in my eyes with no emotion.

" Zen" he said mono-toned. His eyes boarded into mind. I stood still, frozen. I heard a faint whinny voice from up the stairs "Baby what's taking so long? I'm cold"

I looked Manny up and down, he had on some baggy sweat pants and white socks his hair was in a ruffled mess. He had red lipstick kisses on his perfect set of abs, and a fresh hickey on his neck. A sweet smelling aroma reached my nose, It smelled of strong perfume lingering in the air.

My vision was blurred by my tears and the first one ran down my cheek without permission. "Zen, I-I I'm sorry. It's not what you think it is, she was just making me feel better, I miss you, I just needed ..." he sighed. Now the tears we're flowing even faster. I wanted to leave, but I couldn't, my feet wouldn't let me. The whinny voice spoke again "Mannnnnnyyyyy!" he sighed once more. "You wouldn't want your hoe to wait now would you?" I said as loud as I could which was still a loud whisper. I turned and stomped off the porch "Zen! WAIT!" Manny called. "Fuck you Manny" I yelled back holding up my middle finger.

"MRS.DAVIS" I heard Mr.M call breaking me from my flashback. "If you can't concentrate I'm going to have to send you out." he yelled tapping his fingers on the desk. I looked up at his cold eyes "I'm sorry, It won't happen again" I told him as he continued talking.

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When I arrived home after my shopping trip with Carmen I was beyond exhausted, but happy. Carmen, being the best friend she is decided to treat me to a new outfit and make-up set for our night out we were apparently having on Saturday, which was not my idea. I only agreed for her to shut up about it.

She told me "Zen you know my family has more money than we can handle right now, and if I can't spend it on you then who can I spend it on? And you can't waste an outfit and body like that so we're going out" this caused me to laugh. It was 4:30 and Tommy should come home from his tutoring session any minute. I guess I had to start dinner

I opened the pantry there wasn't much to choose from. I took out a box of hamburger helper and a packet of rolls. As I began to prepare the meal I began to wonder where Tommy was. He was usually here by now, but that slipped my mind when I heard a knock on the door. I hurried to the front and slowly opened the door expecting to see Tommy's sweet little face.

"Baby" My eyes were as wide as I could make them at the person that was standing in front of me.

"Daddy?"

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