Chapter 19 - La La Land

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Okay, so it's been a few days since I last uploaded on this story and that was because it was very difficult to write this chapter. I simply had no idea what to do with it. You can call it writer's block. Ugh! I hate that thing. But I finally wrote it and think it came out alright and it's now posted. Obviously. Haha! :D So please show me you like this story by voting, commenting, and fanning! Thanks for reading and I hope you like it! (:

_____________________________________________________________________________To say I was shocked was an understatement. The adjective to how I was feeling at the moment was one I couldn’t grasp or even put a name to. There simply wasn’t any word to describe how I was feeling as I lay in my bedroom, staring at the ceiling in a new morning.  

Yes, I had lived a day knowing that something was growing inside of me, something I didn’t want there. I felt sick and nauseated. 

I had thrown up twice in a span of twenty four hours from the disbelief and overwhelming shock that had shaken my bones. Maybe it was a freaking symptom from being pregnant but I was pretty damn sure that that wasn’t the reason I had gagged and regurgitated any food that had been inside of me.  

I was sickened at the unexpected turn of events. 

God! Why the hell does everything happen to me? Do I deserve any of this? I turned to my side on the bed and began to reflect on my life. I wanted to be sure that I hadn’t done anything so horrible that I’d actually deserve all the shit that has happened to me. 

I found nothing in the memories of my life that depicted all of these horrible turns my life had taken this year. 

Sixteen doesn’t seem like a pretty number anymore and sophomore isn’t a nice word any longer either. I feel like hurling every time I come across those words. 

If there were words that could describe my mood they’d be enraged and furious. 

With all my rage and with all my fury, I swung my legs out of the bed and stood up.  

I took the clothes I would wear for the day and went to the bathroom. There is no way in hell I’m going to school. 

Unlucky could also be a term used to describe me. I was unlucky somebody up there decided to take out their anger on me because I had amber hair or whatnot. I was also unlucky that my mother had the day off today and I’d have to be avoiding her. 

Its a monday, hospital people! Make your doctors work. I knew I should be happy for her that she could sleep in and enjoy but I was anything but happy. The other person with the ability of reading through my acts and lies was my mom and she’d definitely pick up on my strange behavior.

I couldn’t hide it from her. Any twitch of the face would be questioned by mother if she found something strange. 

Maybe I can just lock myself in the room all day and avoid her? Nope. She’ll definitely know something is up. 

Another fleeting thought came to my head. Abortion? That would get me out of this mess and I wouldn’t have to face reality. I could just pretend nothing had happened and move on with my life. 

Yet everything I had once believed in had taught me against that alternative. Did I even believe in what I once had anymore?  

I’m not sure!

I’m not sure of anything anymore! I wiped away a tear from my eyes. I had to get to the bathroom. 

Once I was done using the bathroom I came outside into the house.  

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