The Captain's Girl (Captain America Fanfiction) (4th Book)

Chapter One: Our Life

I walked into our room, my hair still dripping from the shower I took. The droplets cold against my skin, there was only me in the apartment at the moment. Steve had left to get takeout. Unfortunately, I wasn't much of a cook and Steve had his fill of burnt chicken for the past four days. God help the man, I wasn't even brave enough to swallow it on night three. But I remember giggling like a little girl as he swallowed, giving me thumbs up. The smile he had mustered look more like a grimace, but did I love him for trying.

I stared at the mirror in front of me, the hardened woman I was had softened over the years. I was less afraid of letting people in. Steve taught me we all had bad times, it was just how we moved on from them. What kind of people it turned us into. I like to think it turned me into a good person, overall. But some pasts are too dark to ever come to light.

How would I be able to face Tony again? How could I ever look him in the eyes and tell him about that night? The night that I can barely remember but there were so many parts that were so vivid. The way his mom choked for air as my hand was wrapped firmly around her throat, the look in Howard's eyes as he watched me do it. Then the emptiness that followed as Bucky finished him.

There was already enough guilt as I tried hiding all of this from the rest of the Avenger team. I knew there would be harsh judgment if it ever came to light. The only other person I told was Clint. Since he and I fixed everything, I felt he was only one other person I could rely on.

"Morgan are you okay?" Steve's voice rang out through the room. I abruptly turned to see him standing in the doorway, the bag of takeout all over the floor.

I instantly rushed to pick it up, my hands going straight for the noodles that would surely leave a stain. Before I could bend down to grab them, a forceful, yet gentle, hand grabbed me. I stopped in my tracks, still not looking at him.

"It'll stain the carpet," I muttered, desperately trying to avoid his eyes. I knew if I made contact I would spill everything. I was never good at keeping secrets from Steve. He was easy to open up to, those blue eyes always so trusting.

"Who gives a damn," Steve said, cradling me. I was carried to the bed, he still not letting go of me as we sat down together. My wet hair was now dampening his blue shirt, my favorite.

"What's going on? The whole room was shaking sweetheart," Steve said to me, still cradling me. I stared around me, there were various things now scattered around the room. My favorite rocking chair was flipped over, several books were strewn out on the floor. To think I cleaned just this morning.

"It was nothing," I lied so easily, not wanting to delve further. Afraid what I had really seen would only creep it's way back in my mind. As if it wasn't bad enough every night. I relived it over and over, like a broken record it would continue to replay. Sometimes Tony himself would show up in the dreams, with a gun pointed right at my forehead. I would beg him to do it, but he would only turn it on himself. Telling me I was the monster, a monster who didn't deserve the escape of death.

"You know I don't believe that for a moment," he said, patiently. Something he has been ever since I found out all of this. Ever since the more and more memories flooded in of my past life. The one Hydra so desperately wanted me to forget. That way I couldn't be used as a weapon against them, one of their greatest weapons.

"It was them again," I told him, finally meeting his gaze. I could feel the tears welling in my eyes as I saw the sympathy in his. "It's so real. I see it everywhere."

Steve tucked my head into his chest as I let out small sobs, not wanting to hold back anymore. I wanted to let everything out. I needed to focus on the future. Focus on the Avengers and how we could change the world for the better. This isn't a sob story, and I won't let myself become one.

"Shh, it's going to be okay. You didn't want that Mo, you never wanted that. They brainwashed you, you didn't have a choice," Steve murmured over and over again. His arms holding me in an embrace I never wanted to leave, one I would always feel safe from the world in.

I sat up, wiping the tears from my face. I couldn't help but let a smile slip, not ever wanting to take for granted what he did for me. But was I even worthy of happiness? After all I've done? After all the pain I caused others?

"It'll be okay, you hear me? No matter what I'm here. Till the end ok?" Steve said to me, holding my face in both of his hands. He gave me a quick kiss, letting me know he was still here for me.

I then held up my left hand, signaling to my rings, "for better or worse right? Kind of regretting that now aren't you?"

"Never."

~So that was uhh.. dark? This was the first chapter of the last book of this series. So I really hope you all enjoyed it. Since this is the last one I really want to see what you all think! I love seeing your feedback, you can't imagine how much I appreciate it.

Please leave a vote or comment letting me know what you thought of the beginning of this book. I wanted to started out strong and I think it did, but let me know what you think of this chapter. I feel it's a little different than normal, but I was pretty please to see how it turned out. ~