Intimidation ♡ joshler

forty five

"There's no need to thank me. I'm glad you called—how about I try to take your mind off what's bothering you? I'll tell you about the stupid shit I've done growing up, you'll laugh."

"Y-yeah."

"Okay, this one happened when I was twelve... I had an old friend of mine come over while my parents weren't home, and we thought we were so fucking cool, so you know what we did? We rolled up some paper and tried to smoke it—"

Tyler interrupts the other boy by giggling, and Josh chuckles on the other end too, and he doesn't continue until their laughter dies down.

"Okay, so, we tried to smoke the paper, and that shit was fucking miserable and we choked pretty bad, so I went to get us some water, and that fucking dumbass had managed to set my fucking curtains on fire in the couple minutes I was gone."

"Oh my gosh, Josh, did your parents ever find out?" Tyler giggles out again.

"Hell yeah, they did," Josh laughs as well, "I got my ass beat and my friend never came over again. Would you like to hear another story?"

Tyler nods, despite Josh not being able to see him, needless to say, "Please."

"Alright, alright... Yeah, one time in gym in maybe fifth or sixth grade, we were doing some sort of exercises, and one of those was to... fuck, what are they called, well, it's those stretchy rope things—you know what I'm talking about?"

"Mhm."

"Good, so I was in that station at the moment, and I thought it would be funny to wrap one around my neck and pull tight enough for my face to change colors."

And Tyler has to bring a hand to his mouth to muffle his laughter, just so he doesn't risk waking any of his family—the more he imagines it, the funnier it gets, honestly, and he turns his face into his pillow instead as his laughter doesn't cease, and Josh is laughing right along with him.

"What—what happened after?" Tyler strains out in the midst of his fit, and Josh takes another moment to compose himself before answering.

"Gym teacher yelled at me and made me sit out while he called my mom. That bitch came all the way up to the school just to beat my ass in the bathroom—it was fucking embarrassing, we weren't alone in the bathroom; those boys joked on me for the longest time—dude, this one's good, you up for another?"

"Sure am," Tyler's still giggling a little as Josh starts the next story.

"This was years ago, like, I don't even think I was in school yet. So, my mom was babysitting some other girls.  Shit, so, I went up to one of them and asked her if she wanted to play a game, and she agreed, so I went and grabbed a laundry basket big enough to fit a child our age at the time. So then brought the basket to the top of the stairs—"

Josh cuts himself off as he begins to laugh once again, Tyler joining in, and Josh eventually speaks again, and Tyler can hear how hard Josh is trying to contain the rest of his laughter so he can speak coherently, "Fuck, I told that girl to get in the basket and she did, and I pushed the basket down the fucking stairs—"  

And  the older of the two guffaws this time, and Tyler's fucking dying, writhing around in bed as his laughter leaves him breathless, struggling to catch his breath.

"Al-alright," Josh wheezes, composing himself, "So as that bitch went rolling down the stairs in the basket and I'm jumping up and down in delight, another one of the girls my mom was babysitting happened to be standing right by the stairs—she was a fucking snitch, she told my mom. Guess what happened next?"

"She-she spanked you?"

"Smart boy," Josh confirms before bursting with laughter again, "Man, I stayed getting my ass beat growing up."

"J-Josh, my mom used to spank m-me with thin sticks," Tyler forces out as he laughs.

"Holy shit, the switches! Fuck, my stomach would drop every time my mom came at me with one of those—She beat me with a switch in the living room while we had company once, and she just left me lying there when she was finished—the company just watched me as I cried."

"Oh, wow! That's so awkward," Tyler giggles, followed by a tired yawn.

"You ready for bed, baby boy?"

He giggles again, blushing like usual, "One more story?"

"Sure thing. So, I'm not exactly sure how old I was with this one, maybe seven or eight or something? Doesn't really matter, but me and Ashley were home alone once for a little bit," Josh starts, and Tyler's eyes widen a little at the mention of the other boy's sister, but Josh doesn't really sound upset as he continues, so it must be okay, "And we didn't have shit to do—we couldn't go outside either because it was way past dark—but we did have a house phone, so we decided we'd fucking prank call people.  Ashley would dial the number and I would do the talking.  Everything was fun and games, but then she dialed fucking 911, and I should've stopped there, but instead, I fucking tell them that someone had cut the cheese."

And they're losing their shit again, sides hurting from laughing so hard and so much, but it's still one of Tyler's favorite feelings in the world.

"Okay, so I hang up right after that, thinking it was the end of it. Nope, not too long later, the cops are in our fucking house. I don't remember much after that, but I had fallen asleep before our parents returned.  I woke up to find my mom towering over me, swinging a belt at me."

And they laugh one last time for the night, and after they've recovered, Josh speaks again, "You're going to sleep now?"

"Yeah. Thank you, Josh," Tyler smiles, and Josh hums in protest.

"No need to thank me, I was more than happy to talk to you. Now get some rest, okay?"

"Mhm. Night."

"Good night, Ty."

The call ends, and the younger boy puts his phone back on his nightstand, feeling significantly more at ease than he did earlier—he doesn't dwell on earlier, though, and gets comfy in bed.   

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i actually did that dumb shit, except when i choked myself i used my hair during the middle of class instead of those stretchy rope things in the middle of gym man i was wild
and thank you guys! <3