Indifferent (HS)

28. Why Didn't You Stop Me?

CHAPTER 28:

Part of me knew Harry was sitting next to me, but all I could see was Nick and all I could hear was Nick. Was Harry actually talking or was I imagining the whole things?

"What did you say?" I asked taking a sip of my water staring at the Christmas tree, glowing and perfect. It was almost as if it was mocking me. Mocking me for screwing up, when it stood there tall and upright while I was pinned to the couch by my own mistakes. 

"I asked if you were okay" Harry whispered and this time it was Harry and only him. There wasn't a trace of the happy affection he usually looks at me with. It made me sad for him to look at me as a disappointment, embarrassment and someone who wasn't good enough to meet his family. 

"Yeah I'm okay I'm just really tired" I lied once again. The water helped wear off the cocaine and alcohol, but now I was left feeling sick and gross. 

"The party's almost over just try and keep your eyes open till then" He resembled my dad when I used to get in trouble. He cared for me and worried about me, but I could tell he was mad at me and expected more from me or something like that. And when all was said and done, I'd have to face the music at some point and talk about what really happened. Harry stood up leaving me practically dead and limp on the couch. I finished my water and stood up trying to stay with him. The ground seemed as if it was trying to make me fall, though I knew better. My own legs were the ones not supporting me. My head got clearer with every passing moment thankfully, and I went to grab a bottle of water from the fridge. No one was in the private area of the kitchen so I chugged a bottle of water, then grabbed another one and another one. I felt refreshed and awake, and slightly less sick. I will blame it on dehydration.

"Trying to find Harry's secret snacks?" Louis walked in making me jump. 

"Secret snacks?" I responded throwing the three empty bottles of water away. 

"Yeah he always hid snacks when we were on tour, and I'm sick of eating pasta and chocolate covered strawberries" He opened each and every cabinet searching for something, but was empty handed. I laughed amusingly catching my reflection in the window above the sink. I didn't look that horrible, maybe I could pull off the dehydration excuse. I felt worse than I looked. 

The waves in my hair sagged and were practically straight by now. My harsh red lipstick was faded, but stained my lips just enough to keep my look together. The dress was getting uncomfortable and I just wanted to take it off and get in the bath tub. 

"Eleanor was worried about you, what were you doing with Samantha Walker?" Louis was walking on eggshells around me and I picked at the red fingernail polish so I wouldn't have to look at the pitying expression on his face.

"It's nothing I was just trying to be friendly and introduce myself to people" I mumbled, disappointed in myself. Peer pressure to do coke at a party feels so high school or college. This was supposed to be a festive holiday party where I could celebrate my new relationship with Harry, but I allowed my insecurities to take over. 

"Well I think she wanted to take pictures with you if you're up for it" A real and genuine smile grew on my lips and the worst part of the night had passed. 

"Totally, I should probably redo my lipstick" Louis and I walked out of the kitchen and Harry was saying goodbye to his guests. I found my clutch that had my phone and lipstick in. I don't know when I lost track of it, but I had probably 50 text messages and missed calls from Harry and Eleanor, wow didn't know I was so popular. I went into the cocaine bathroom to fix my lipstick. 

Entering the living room, all eyes were on me. Some could say it was a miracle I was alive and walking. I waved acting as if nothing happened and that I've been fine the whole time.