Indifferent (HS)

29. Merry Christmas

CHAPTER 29:

My eyes slowly opened, not used to the bright sunlight. I guess I forgot to close my shades last night. They say the best moments are the ones where you wake up and you haven't remembered the bad things in your life yet. That was the case for me this morning. My head was so fuzzy and cloudy, it took a while for all the haunting memories of last night to creep in. Once they did, I did not want to get out of bed. I knew I would have to at some point, but Harry and I are not on speaking terms. I would give him his present when I liked him again. At this point, I'm not sure when that would be. Things last night went from uncomfortable to slight arguing to bad to good then to completely disastrous. 

I picked up my phone still having all the unopened text messages from the party. I clicked Harry's message first and it was just a bunch of 'where are you's' from early last night. The most recent said 'what is going on?' and that was sent at 9:55, which was most likely around the time of the coke incident. I deleted the conversation, then went to Eleanor's. Same as Harry's questions of where I was last night but the most recent was 'Merry Christmas, love ya' and that was sent at 10:06, thirty minutes ago. I responded to her, then checked for any other text messages. 

Moving on to missed called and voice mails, it was all the same. Checking my email, I saw I had all the pictures sent to me from El. It brought a smile to my face scrolling through the pictures we took last night. I did look stunning and some of these would have to make the gram. Despite our huge fight, I made the picture of Harry kissing me my screen saver. Maybe he would see it on accident and take it as a peace offering. 

I made sure to save all of them, then closed out my email moving to instagram. Eleanor, Perrie, Zayn, Liam, and Niall already posted pictures from last night, which gave me a couple thousand followers, so that's cool I guess. Twitter had also blown up and I made multiple headlines. 'Harry Styles poses with new girlfriend at famous Christmas party.' 'Mystery girl spotted with Cara Delevingne at Harry Styles Christmas party.' 'Is there a new addition to the Victoria's Secret model gang?' 'Ex boybander fires publicist who spills the tea on Styles' new gold-digging girlfriend.' 

I closed out of Twitter, chuckling at the irony. Who would have thought I would be the center of attention standing next to famous people? I will deal with that later. It's Christmas I should make an attempt to enjoy it. Scrolling through the pictures posted on Instagram, I read all of the comments and most of them were positive. Obviously there were a few negative, but nothing I hadn't seen before. They've just never been directed at me, which was the difference now. I wondered if Harry was awake, I hated sleeping without him, but we both seriously needed our space away from each other last night. If he was, I really doubt he'd talk to me. I threw the covers off of me, placing my phone and Apple Watch on the charger. I got the hot water going for the shower, and I put the candle Harry brought on my vanity to clear the counter. I didn't even want to see how badly I looked. 

Feeling terrible was enough for me to know I looked bad. I felt like throwing up, and every part of my body was weak. Shutting the door to my bathroom I stripped the robe off that I fell asleep in and stepped into the shower. Within a couple seconds, sickness overtook me and I was sitting down emptying my stomach under the hot stream of water. It was what I needed to feel cleansed and not hungover, but it was so gross and I hoped Harry wouldn't hear. 

I didn't try standing up for a while, because I was too fatigued. Not sure of how much time had passed, I slowly washed my hair, still sitting down. I used a nice facial scrub, also helping the fact  I wore so much makeup last night and for so long. Forcing myself to stand, I soaked my loofa in my Bath and Body Works soap cleaning every inch of my body. Maybe it could wash away the guilt and mistakes of last night. That type of soap would be a lot more expensive though.