Rogue (An Avengers Fanfic)

Chapter 56: I Can't Help Falling In Love With You

There was a freedom to being under Kilgrave's control. You're not a slave to guilt, or fear, or even logic. You just do what you're told.

I awoke in the strange house, disoriented for a moment as I tried to remember where I was and who I was there with.

"Hazel, come down now," I heard Kilgrave call. My tiredness instantly evaporated and I was walking down the stairs before I even knew that I'd decided to. I looked for him and saw him sitting outside, serving breakfast. There was a selection of pancakes, whipped cream and fruit decorating the table.

"What is this?" I asked, sitting opposite him.

"Breakfast," he answered with a smile. "Help yourself." I started piling pancakes on my plate, taking in the smell of the first good breakfast I'd had in months.

"Can I ask you a question?" I asked tentatively. My hate for him was being overridden by my curiosity over him.

"You can," he confirmed.

"Why me?" I asked. "You obviously have this... obsession with Jessica, so why did you take me instead?"

"First of all, I didn't take you, I asked you to come with me," he clarified. "But, I'm curious about you Hazel, you're intriguing."

"You're curious... about me?" I was shocked – why was he curious about me?

"Aren't you curious about me?" he inquired.

"That's different," I dismissed. "I'd never even heard of you until I met Jessica and suddenly I'm here, having breakfast with you."

"Do you have somewhere else you'd rather be?" he asked. "Be honest."

"I'd rather be anywhere but here," I said honestly. "Right now you seem nice, but in a second you could tell me to kill myself and I wouldn't even see it coming."

"Wow, Jessica's really filled your head with rubbish about me," he said with a smile. "But tell me something..."

"Yes?"

"Why are you still looking for her? Your mother?" he wondered.

"Doesn't everyone want to know where they came from?"

"My parents put me through hell. They disappeared years ago and if I ever saw them again..." he trailed off, staring into space.

"You'd kill them?" I finished for him, shoving another piece of fruity pancake into my mouth. "At least you knew them."

"So you've never thought about killing your parents?" he asked.

"I don't know them. My ex-boyfriend killed my biological father, and I hated him for that but at the same time, he doesn't mean anything to me. Apart from a blurred photo on google, I don't even know what he looks like."

"And that upsets you?"

"I just... wish I knew them. You're lucky," I informed him.

"Lucky?" he asked with a chuckle.

"You can make someone love you just by telling them to. If I had your powers, I'd definitely have found my mother by now. And as soon as I found her, I'd make her love me as much as a normal mother loves her normal daughter. I'd make it like all our years apart never happened, like we'd never been separated."

"I've contemplated using my powers to make people fall in love with me," he said.

"But you haven't?" I wondered curiously.

"I always imagined I'd fall in love the old fashioned way, that I'd see someone and just... know that we were meant to be together," he glanced wistfully into the distance.

"And you thought that that would be Jessica?" I asked, taking a guess. To my amusement, I could tell that I surprised him.

"You're... intuitive. You're the first person to ever work that out."

"Maybe I'm just the first person that's ever been interested?" I wondered with a smile. I didn't know if he was controlling me or not, but it was nice to be in his company, to spend time with someone who didn't know me as either 'Superhero Rogue' or '12-year-old Hazel'.

"What if... I compelled you to fall in love with me?" he asked slowly.

"I have a boyfriend," I automatically dismissed, but for that moment, I couldn't even remember his name, my mind was filled with Kilgrave.

"Right, the boyfriend, Bucky Barnes." He rolled his eyes as he said his name. "You made him forget about me... about Jessica."

"I didn't want him to be in danger. Jess warned me that you'd use anyone against us." It was only then when it occurred to me: he was using me to get to Jessica.

"I'm not as bad as Jessica makes out, we just have... history."

"You're using me against her," I said. "You're keeping me here because you're hoping that she comes looking for me."

"I'm not keeping you here," he said. "You can leave anytime you want... but you don't want to leave." As he said this, I didn't want to leave. I wanted to stay with him.

"I can't tell if you're controlling me, or if I just don't want to leave," I said honestly.

"You don't want to leave," he clarified. "You're in love with me."

"I..." I trailed off, wanting to tell him that I wasn't in love with him. I loved Bucky.

"Kiss me," he said. I leaned towards him and kissed him, noting how different it felt to kissing Bucky. My kisses with Bucky felt magical. Kissing Kilgrave felt weird, dangerous. My whole body was conflicted – part of me knew that I didn't want to kiss him, that I didn't love him. But the other part of me fell for him, fell for the danger of him, for the adventure, and for the small sensitive, vulnerable side that I was just starting to understand.

"I don't want you to control me," I said.

"I'm not controlling you, believe me." I believed him, believed him more than I'd ever believed anyone about anything. I believed that he wasn't controlling me, that I was actually in love with him, that I wanted to kiss him and be with him.

"Why does Jessica think you're a bad guy?" I asked.

"She doesn't understand me like you do," he answered without missing a beat. "Laurent, Alva, clear this up," he shouted for his servants, leaving me at the table as they cleared up around me.

When Kilgrave was gone, my mind became slightly clearer. I knew that this wasn't a normal situation, that this love wasn't real. I knew that Wanda and Nat and Falcon would be worried, that Jessica would be looking for a way to make Kilgrave pay for what he'd done. I knew that I was betraying Bucky. But I didn't care. Because I only had enough room in my brain, in my body, to care about one thing – Kilgrave.

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