The Dark Windows

Chapter 38

Ally's POV:

"Just drink your coffee, and take deep breaths." John assured me. That wasn't possible. That wasn't even on the list of things I was going too do to try and soothe this pain. I wasn't frozen, I wasn't scared, I was mad. I feared how mad I was, and I wasn't even afraid. Only pure anger.

"John...I can't just 'Take deep breaths' that is not going to help this situation at all. I am purely mad. I could break something." I gripped my coffee mug harshly and brought it to my lips. I was well aware that I was making my anger worse by wanting to break something, but hell I didn't care anymore.

"I'm sorry."

"I try and fight back. I say what's on my mind, I get my feelings out. And what results from that? That's right, he takes it up a notch. What he did, it's not right let alone probably not legal." I breathed out.

"Maybe Guy will be able too make that better when he comes home?" I sighed.

"I doubt it. I'm in the worst mood possible," I took a sip of coffee, "I wouldn't be surprised if I get pregnant after this." I mumbled, but enough for John to be able to comprehend. He just stayed silent at my words. Of course.

This is awful. No longer can I live life normally, I just have to worry for the rest of my life. I was out of coffee, and tempted to throw the mug across the room. It felt almost as if anger was just radiating off of me.

I was aware that Rob was right, I was becoming a lot like Louis with my anger. What did I care anymore? I haven't been outside in month, I've been in contact with three other people, and I haven't even been on technology. That would be the death of most people, but I have no other choice.

It's physically and mentally so excrutiatingly awful, that I'm starting to forget life before this place. I forget doing chores, or being able to walk around. I forget things I learned in school, or people's faces. I forget what it feels like on a cold winter day, and too be freezing. I forget watching TV, or going on the computer. It's all just some big blur now that was a 'has been'.

"Do you want more coffee?" John broke the silence.

"I'll get it." I said harshly.

"No no, I'll get it for you." I gave him a glare, and he stayed seated. I walked up, and placed my mug on the granite countertop. To the right of the mug was the keys. I poured myself coffee, and looked back at the keys.

Without even taking a second too think about it, I grabbed the keys and ran too the door.

"Ally!" John screamed. I was trying to smash the key in to fit, but it wasn't going in.

"Go in go in!" I shouted. I kept pushing and stabbing, and John appeared behind me. "Let me out! Please, let me out!" I was pleading. John wrapped his arms around my waist.

"Let go!" John yelled at me, pulling me off the door, the key dropping to the floor.

"Let go of me! I want to get out! I want to leave!" I was crying at the top of my lungs. He grabbed the keys, and tossed them on the countertop. He let me go, and my back slid down the wall. I was sitting, hugging my knees. "Why did you have to stop me for once?!" My voice was hoarse.

I dropped my head too my knees, crying. I was hitting my legs with my fists, as hard as possible.

"Calm down. It's going to be okay."

"It's not! I want to get out, I'm having a nervous breakdown. My hands are shaking my blood is pulsing, and I feel like I'm about to go on a roller coaster that reaches the moon!" I didn't even care if he laughed at that last part, I felt like dying right now.