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Coming out and about me part 2

So I want you guys to know all about me:
1:I'm 13 years old
2:I had recently came out as bisexual(a/n I want to thank you all for the support)
3:I'm Salvadorian
4:I'm was born and raised in California which I love so much
5:I like the color pink,black,purple,and blue
5:my favorite singers are little mix,Ariana grande,Shawn mendes,jack and jack,Madison beer,drake,Selena Gomez,fifth harmony,Sammy wilk,skate maloley,and Katy perry
6:I more of a tomboy I don't really like dresses and skirts and makeup
7:I met singer Victoria Monet when I went to a fifth harmony concert back in September
8:I have ADHD
9:I'm part of the LGBT community and always have and always will❤️
10:I'm the oldest I have a little brother and a little sister
11:I play soccer
12:I'm in 8th grade almost going to high school😬
13:I love music more than anything and wattpad😂❤️

Problems:now those are like the simple stuff but I do have problems.for one my sexuality,I didn't want to be bi because I thought it was wrong.i use to cry one night because I was so scared until I realized that it wasn't bad .im still in the closet from my family because I know that they won't except me but I'm happy that I told you guys cause you guys make me happy and I want to thank you all for the support I wish I could you all one big tight hug❤️I'm afraid that my family will disown me as a daughter,niece,cousin,granddaughter, and sister.i don't really see myself being with a girl but that could possibly happen in the future.my second problem is myself.when I look at myself in the mirror all I see is fat and thick and I hate it I been trying to eat healthy and exercise and it's helping but I'm also starving myself.i remember when it was winter break and we were off for two weeks,and with those two weeks I basically starved I didn't eat well as I used to and I liked it.i don't want to anorexic but I do want to lose weight and felt like that was the only way but know I'm doing a little bit better but not as before .my next problem is my mental issue,I was diagnosed with ADHD in the 5th grade turns out I was actually born with it.i used get distracted a lot in class but know I feel like it has gotten a lot worse and know I think that I have depression.my next problem is that I might have depression,when I see my family that look so happy my cousin and my little sister laughing playing with their toys,my little brother playing with them or video games having fun.my parents,grandma,and aunts laughing talking and having a good time.Me in my room all the time in the dark just reading a book or here on wattpad listening to music.i feel like music is the highlight of my life and it helps me but not enough.sometimes when I go to the kitchen to do the dishes I see the kitchen knives and my mind is saying to grab it a cut and I all I do is just stare at it and my body thinking should I grab it?will this make me feel better?but I do nothing and turn away from it.im scared that since I have ADHD the side of this is suicidal thoughts and I do have suicidal thoughts sometimes.i know that I have a reason to be in this world but sometimes I don't.the main reason why I don't want to commit suicide is because I'm know that it will haunt my family and friends that I did it.i have talked to my mom about this before and she told me why I'm in this world and that I'm worth it but I still feel so unhappy.everyone that I love including you guys seem so happy and I'm not.i want to be happy but I just can't I barely talk to people because I'm shy but i can be loud if I'm comfortable about where I'm at.only music and you guys make me happy but I still feel unhappy at the same time.when you guys send request even if it's a lot and you guys comment it makes me so happy.wattpad has defiantly helped me find who I am and you guys.you guys are not followers to me you guys are family❤️and I love you guys so freaken much.

How I knew I was bisexual:well I first thought that I was bisexual over a year ago because I had this weird feeling towards girls that I also have for boys.Also when I was younger my real father was abusive to my mom.i would always here them fight and yell and I was in the corner protecting my little bro.it got to the point where my dad got so drunk(a/n he was a drug addict and alcoholic)and hit my mom and me and my little brother tried protecting my mom and he kicked my little brother in the forehead.ever since I only have talked to my dad at least once a month or if I'm lucky a week.ever since then I been really protective of my siblings.Now 13 years old this still haunts me so much and I'm a little scared of men.But my mom is married to my stepdad who does not lay a hand on my mom or siblings.i wouldn't really call him a father figure but he defiantly a better one than my real father.
This is me👇

I just want to thank you guys for everything and you guys are family to me.❤️
P.s for those who have request they will come soon I just need to like write a good idea for them idk how to explain it but something like that but they will come soon💝
Love you Guys all,Jasmine🏳️‍🌈