Risk It All [Alec Lightwood]

Chapter Fifty Four

Alec Lightwood

I killed her mother. I killed their mother. Jace and Clary's birth mother and Kiana's adoption mother. They just got her back. We went through so much just to get her back and I ended up killing her. The look on Kiana's face as she saw the blood on my hands. When she saw Jocelyn's body.. when she saw what I had done. I shoot another arrow into the New York sky. A blonde appears in front of my arrow.

"Alec," Jace said.

"Move," I sneer.

"How long have you been up here," Jace asks.

"I'm glamoured. No one can see me. Move," I said once more.

"You can't beat yourself up," Jace sighed.

"I'm not," I snap.

"Who are you talking to? It's me. I'm your parabatai. I know exactly what you're going through. What happened with Jocelyn, that wasn't you. That was the demon," Jace said.

"Get out of the way," I snap.

I point my arrow at him and he holds his hands up in retreat.

"Hey. Same side, remember? Come on, man. Come back inside," Jace said.

"That's the last place I want to be," I said.

"Alec, Valentine has the Soul-Sword. He slaughtered the Silent Brothers. We need our best soldiers," Jace said.

This frustrated me. He didn't care about what I did. I killed his mother.

"Stop pretending this never happened. I couldn't save you from Valentine. I couldn't save you from the City of Bones. I... She's Kiana's mother. Clary's mother. Your mother," I stammer.

"Nobody blames you," Jace said.

"They should," I snap.

I use my stele to activate a rune and I jump off the roof of the Institute wanting to be far away from this place. Away from the person I hurt the most.

-

Kiana Branwell

"You're not with Simon and Clary for their little memorial for Jocelyn," Jace asks.

"Being sad isn't going to help anyone. You said Valentine planned this. The only way to end this is by ending him. Only then will she Rest In Peace," I spat.

"I know you are in pain," Jace said.

"Emotions cloud judgement," I said.

"Are you mad at Alec," Jace asked.

"I.. I don't know. All I know is that right now looking at him is hard," I said.

"Kiana," Jace began.

"There's a meeting in the debriefing room. Better get there quick," I said.

Jace follows me into the room where we see Isabelle leaning against a wall. I stand besides her and lean as well.

"During the attack on the City of Bones, Jace Wayland fought bravely, and thus the Clave, in their wisdom, has exonerated him from all crimes. And the chief physician in Idris reports that Lydia Branwell's condition continues to improve," Aldertree said.

"Out of the infirmary in record time. You're looking good," I whispered.

"I always look good," Isabelle said.

"Where's Alec," Isabelle asked.

The two look at me before Jace answers.

"He needs some space," Jace said.

"We face a new threat. Valentine has the Mortal Cup, and now possesses the Soul-Sword, two of the three Mortal Instruments. Our mission now is to find out what he plans to do with them," Aldertree explained.

Isabelle groaned in pain and rolled her shoulder. I felt the same shocking pain she felt. Jace is glaring at the people watching him.

"You okay," Izzy asks.

"I'm fine. But apparently no one else is, judging by the way they're all looking at me," Jace said.

"Jace, I'm sorry for letting them take you to the City of Bones," Isabelle said. "I thought."

"It's all good, Izzy. You and Kiana saved Alec's life and mine. I would've done the same thing," Jace said.

Silence falls between the three of us as we listen.

"Tomorrow night's rite of passage will bring the total number of dead to 26 fallen Silent Brothers and three Shadowhunters. Take this time to grieve and plan for what lies ahead. Your orders will follow," Aldertree said.

I didn't even want to think about Jocelyn right now. I didn't want to cry nor did I want to be weak. I wanted to end Valentine once and for all. I felt a sharp pain on my shoulder and I let out a small groan before rolling my shoulder back.

"Both of your shoulders still hurts huh," Jace asked.

"It's a little stiff, but don't worry about me blondie, keep an eye on Clary, right now she needs you more than I do right now," I said.

"Kiana and I can handle ourselves," Isabelle said.

I exit the briefing room and make my way to my bedroom where Simon and Clary were.

"Why're you two in my room," I sigh. "I just want to be alone."

"I think I found a way to get mom back," Clary said.

"How," I ask.

"We resurrect her with magic, your magic," Clary said.

I shake my head.

"That's too risky Clary," I said.

"You'd risk everything for Alec but not for the woman who took you in when you weren't wanted," Clary snapped.

"YOU THINK I DON'T WANT HER BACK CLARY. YOU THINK IT IS EASY TO JUST FORGET HER. WELL IT ISN'T SHE IS STILL MY MOTHER AND I NEED HER LIKE YOU DO," I snap.

Clary was taken aback.

"I would do anything to get her back but what you're talking about is crazy," I sniffle.

I wipe my tears away and exit the bedroom. With a snap of my fingers everything is transferred to Magnus's where I plan to stay for a few days. I portal myself out and enter his abode. Magnus and Raphael were sitting on separate sofas drinking.

"Kiana," Magnus said softly.

I look up from the ground holding the tears in.

"Yes," I ask.

My voice cracking.

"Oh biscuit," Magnus sighed softly.

He pulls me in for a hug and holds me tight. Raphael rises and places a hand on his heart.

"I am deeply sorry for your lost," he said.

"Thanks Raph," I sigh.

"I'm sorry Aldertree did that to you," I said.

"All in the past now," Raphael said.

"It still doesn't make it right, you shouldn't have to endure the pain for my mistakes," I sighed.

"I'd do anything for you Kiana," Raphael said.