Mr Always Right (MxM)

Twenty five

Xander

It took everything in me to not put a bullet, or ten, in Streuds head every time I looked at Caspiry. Every time I saw him cry, swallow one of those giant pills, touch his now flat stomach and slither out of my grip because he think I don't love him because of what she did.

I had thought of wrapping my hands around her little neck countless times but I can't do that. She doesn't deserve to simply die, no. She deserves to suffer but my mind shouldn't be on her in this time, it should be with my husband. I need to take care of him, I need to be able to give him what he deserves.

I can't help but be selfish in this case, I wallow in self pity all the time since the accident as if I'm the one who has suffered the greatest injustice. She took my Fiona away from me before I could even hold her, before I could put my hand on her little chest and feel her heart beat or her breath on my fingertips. She stole from me and my family and she did it in the worst way. She stole countless nights of no sleep because Fiona would be crying, she stole my grey hairs from worrying about Fiona as she grew older and all the laughter and happiness I'd receive from my second little girl, she stole the moments I felt I'd miss the most. She ripped Fiona's life from mine and my husbands fingertips without hesitation. She even stole the moments I'd forget and left me with two things I never wanted or needed.

She left me with the pain of all of this and an empty coffin to bury. A baby that's been miscarried at Fiona's age is considered medical waste. My princess is considered waste. This is what Streud did and the more I think about it the less I want to simply let this be worked out legally, the more I want to make her pay and feel all of the pain I feel. I'd inflect such horror on her, just enough to bring her to the brink of death but not enough to push her over the edge. Death is simply too kind.

This morning was just like the others. I woke up alone to a silent house and found my husband in our daughters room watching her sleep. Just like every other day, I dragged him from the room and into the hallway to hold him. Unlike every other day, he accepted my embrace. He broke down in tears, he screamed into my chest and dug his nails into my flesh.

Today we bury our little empty coffin.

"It isn't fair Xander" he said with hot tears burning through my shirt "this wasn't supposed to happen, not to us. Not to anyone."

"What did we do wrong? Why does God hate us? We go to church, we pray, is it simply because we are both men because then I don't know what I'm supposed to do. I can't stop loving you and I don't want to try because I know I can't live without you but I also can't bare this pain."

I hushed my husband as he continued to sob into me, "God doesn't hate us, he simply gives his hardest tasks to his strongest soldiers. He's testing us, it means he loves us enough to give us attention and hopes that we learn and grow."

I wished I believed him. From that day of the accident, I stopped believing. How could a loving God do this to such a pure soul? How could he do this to Caspiry? How could he do this to my husband, the most beautiful mind and kindest heart?

Even if I didn't believe it though, it seemed to calm Casp down.

"I love you so much Xan" he uttered still clutching onto me.

"I love you too, now let's get Jaime up so we can get ready for the funer-"

"I'm not going."

Something in me broke. It wasn't fair. Thousands of babies would enter the world but Fiona wouldn't be one of them because of Streud. I let go of Caspiry, headed down the stairs and out of the house.

This bitch was going to get what she deserves. Death will greet her with hostility, Death is waiting for her. He will not handle Streud with the same kindness he held my princess in. He will take her slowly, making her dream of seeing the light only to smother her in the evil she is made of. I heard Casp calling out for me but my eyes were locked on the house of the devil.

I was on the sidewalk outside of Streud house when Caspiry screamed out my name again but this time he was more desperate. I marched on, banging on Streuds door. By the time she answered Casp was on my arm clawing me begging me to turn around and go home.

He held my arms as best he could, as if he knew my palms itched to squeeze her neck until life leaked from her eyes. And she stood with an almighty smirk that simply made me want to kill her even more.

"Xander, please-"

"To hell with kindess Casp! Where was kindness or consideration for another persons life when she rammed into the back of your car? Where was it when she took Fiona's life? When she spewed those words of hate?"

"Go on, hurt me" Streud dared, lifting her brow.

"There may not have been any kindness when those things happened but that's because she was in control, now you are and I know better than anyone that you hold so much kindness within you. I know you're a better person. Don't do this baby. For Fiona."

My husband is my voice of reason even when we are both beyond emotional stability. I calmed down.

"I'm sorry that I disturbed you." I turned and walked away, my husbands hand in mine but he stopped.

"Will you be joining us for our daughters funeral?" he asked looking at her. She was stunned, she shook her head and closed the door. When the words left his lips it was as if her brain cracked and I could see it did by the look in her eyes.

"Why did you-"

"So when she tries to say you assaulted her we can tell them that it was us being good people and inviting our neighbour, who may or may not be Satan, to our daughters funeral. I knew she would say no and I would like to drill in that we are nice people."

"Please come to the funeral? I need my man to hold my hand, clearly I cannot handle myself" I whispered when we got to our front door, "I need you now more than ever."