Never Knew [Zarry AU]

21. Care

"I'll see you later, Bud.", Harry whispered to his son after placing a soft kiss on his forehead. He was taking his evening nap after playing and watching T.V for a bit with Zayn.

"I love you Bud." Harry smiled at Raphael before getting up and walking out of the house.

Harry didn't want to leave Raphael, but he knew, he had to. He was so thankful to God that he had been saving up money for University for so long. Or else, he doubted, if he could pay for high bill of the private hospital on his own. He didn't want to take Barbara or her husband's help, they already had done so much for him. So after Raphael got discharged from the hospital 2 weeks ago, he quickly applied for a waiter's job at a 3 star hotel in the evening, to save up more for the University. Luckily, he got it right away and now, he was leaving for the first day/evening of his job.

"You know, you don't have to do this. I can provide you and Raph with everything.", Zayn said from the couch as he saw Harry coming downstairs.

Harry came and stood in front of him. He looked directly into his Hazel eyes before speaking.

"I don't need your money or anything. I can provide for both myself and my son."

"Our son.", Zayn said but Harry stayed silent, still looking into his eyes.

"Take care of him. I have made the dinner and it's already in the fridge. Just heat it up. Don't give him anything that includes peach. He's allergic to it and..." Harry's rambling cut off by Zayn's hand on his shoulders. It's only then, Harry realized that Zayn had stood up and now was in front of him.

"Harry. I got it. If anything happens, I'll call you, yeah?", Zayn said smiling.

"Yeah.", Harry whispered. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath.

Zayn could see how tense Harry was to leave Raph for the first time. He knew, how much Raph meant to Harry. He wished he could calm him down, somehow. In the past, whenever they would be in these kind of situations, they would always hug each other. But now, he wasn't sure he could that.

"I should get going. Take care of Raph. And..", Harry stopped before turning his back to Zayn.

"...there is some chicken curry for you in the fridge as well. Goodbye.", and with that, Harry quickly walked out of the house. Leaving a smiling Zayn in his leaving room, closing the door behind him.

"He still cares.", Zayn whispered to himself, smiling.

He was happy to know that Harry still knew his favourite dish. He was overwhelmed.

He took out the old paper from his back pocket and sat down on the couch. He ran his thumb on the words, silently reading them for the umpteenth time in these 7 years.

He still remember the day very clearly. The day he came to the house after attending the after graduation Party and saw Des crying his heart out. Holding a paper in his hand. He slowly came towards him and asked what happened. He got shocked when Des said that Harry left the house forever and that all his clothes were missing.  He remembered himself running upstairs and checking their closet himself, only to find Des' words true. He remembered him finding a piece of paper under his mathematics book. And he remembered him crying afterwards holding both the letter and their divorce papers. He remembered himself regretting signing the papers, regretting himself ignoring Harry after spending the most beautiful night of his life, regretting getting drunk and sleeping with Ellie the night before in the same bed he had slept with Harry. Moreover, he regretted him going to the after party with his friends instead of returning to the house with Harry. Moreover, he regretted ever making Harry feel unloved.

As he started reading the letter again, his eyes became glossy. He never knew, reading the words this time would hurt this much. So much, he wished the ground under his feet would swallow him.

Zayn,

   I'm leaving. Leaving you, dad, Niall, Louis, Liam... everyone. No, I don't want to leave, I have to. I can't see myself hurting anymore, I can't see you hurting another life for what happened between us. I know you never accepted our marriage, and you never will. But I actually had started seeing you as my husband. Yeah yeah, call me emotional fool, that's what I am. I knew you have signed the divorce papers, but, me being me, hoped that you'll change your heart after what happened that night between us. I thought we made love. But I guess, that was only to me, huh? Don't worry, your secret is safe with me. I won't tell a soul how we got married and how you used me and crumbled my heart after. I won't.

You never loved me, because you love her. You never believed me, because you believe her. Call me a fool Zayn, but I actually loved you. I fell in love with you, Zayn Malik. What? Wanna laugh at me? Well, do please. Even I'm laughing at myself.

When you'll be reading this letter, I'll be long gone. You'll never find me. (Though I doubt, you'll miss me. Haha.)

I want to thank you, for giving me the best days of my life. For getting married to me, though it was just a mistake for you. And moreover, for giving me the best gift of my life. (though you don't know what that gift is. Haha.) Thank you :)

Tell Niall, Louis, Liam,Dad and Trisha that I'll miss them. I will really do.

I'll try not to miss you. Wish me luck?

I have finally signed the divorce papers. They are in the drawers of your bedside table.

You must be doing a happy dance in your (previously our) room, right? Haha. Well don't trip over, yeah?

You can file them as soon as you want. You are free now. 

Have a happy life ahead. Think twice before making decisions. My best wishes are always with you.

[P.S. don't try to find. You guys will only waste your energy and money.] 

-Harry Styles.

"What have I done.", Zayn sighed to himself before folding back the letter and putting it back into his pocket. He always carried the letter, he didn't know why though.

He rested his head on the back of the couch and closed his eyes. Taking deep breaths, he started thinking, what he should do, but sadly, he couldn't even think a thing. He wanted Harry to forgive him, he wanted both Harry and Raphael in his life. He wanted to live with them like a family. But he didn't know how and from where to start. So he did the only thing that came to his mind.

He fetched out his phone from his jeans pocket and dialled the only number he could think of, at that moment.

After the third ring, the person picked up the phone. Zayn took a deep breath before speaking.

"Hello, mum. I need to tell you something."