The Lovely Suicide Children

Chapter 10: A Scar to Hide

Shayla dropped me off in front of the school. I smiled as soon as I entered the building. I was so happy to be out of the house, away from Amber, my father, and Shayla. Mostly Shayla. She was something else and no matter what, I couldn't seem to get why my dad was with her and why she was with him. 

Push your care, push your burdens aside. Erase everything inside and leave just one thing on your mind.  

I let the music drown out the voices around me. There was something about the band Suicide Silence that gave a little meaning to my miserable life. Half the time I didn't understand what the lead singer was screaming, but I knew what he wanted me to get out of the music.

 I looked at my pants and noticed some powder on it. Before anyone else saw, I wiped it off. I hoped that was the only spot of it. Sleeping in between that stuff, trying to avoid rolling onto it was hard. I had to lock the doors so Shayla and my father wouldn't walk in and see the powder. The last thing I wanted to think was that I was a disturbed child.

Lost in my thoughts and the music, I found myself in the cafeteria looking for a place to sit. I stretched the sleeves of my flannel shirt upwards over my wrist then let my hand fall.  Soon after, a hand brush against mine then moved away. I looked to my side and found Rose standing there with a red tray in her hand. 

"Hey there," she smiled at me. "You grabbing breakfast?"

I shook my head. "I ate before I came. Where's Maddy?"

A girl behind us sighed when she saw us conversating next to the line where people exited with their food. Rose motioned her head towards a table. I put my bookbag on the chair and sat across from her. Putting away my headphones, I was sad that I wasn't able to hear my favorite part of You Only Live Once by Suicide Silence. 

Rose sat down, picked up her plastic fork, and dug into her salad and chicken. I've never seen someone eat salad in the morning before. 

"This taste amazing. You should try it sometime," she said as if she had read my mind.

I wasn't a lover of salad, so I gave her a smile instead. I probably stared at her for too long because she lowered both of her eyebrows at me. Realizing I had been staring at her for too long, I looked away. She chuckled when I looked at the table. I felt so embarrassed for doing that. I did my best to keep from blushing, but I just couldn't help it

"You're so cute!" Rose squealed in a small voice, almost as if she was talking to a baby.

"What?" I said, knowing what she meant. I was just too nervous to say anything else.

She shook her head before taking another bite of her salad. "Nothing. Are you a little bit used to this place yet?"

"Kind of."

"Made any new friends?"

"Just you and this guy named Robert Parker."

She dropped her fork in her bowl as soon as I had said his name. I looked at her spoon then at her. She looked shocked. Actually, that wasn't the right word for her expression. She looked scared. She was scared.

"What?" I asked. "Did I say something wrong?"

She slowly picked up her fork. "No, no," she blinked a few times. "It's just that I didn't know we had another Robert Parker here. Last time I heard that name was in 6th grade."

Okay? What was her point? There could be another Robert Parkers in the school. I wondered why she looked so scared when I said his name. She had looked at me as if I said all the curse words in the world at her. That's how bad it seemed.