The Lovely Suicide Children

Chapter 17: Afterschool Madness

The bell rang, and I was so relieved that the school day was finally over with. Schoolwork and tons of studying had to be done tonight. No doubt about that. As I was about to make my way outside and past the exit door, Rose stopped me.

"Olivia!" She beamed. "Look, if you're not busy, I was hoping you could come over. We can get started with the Capoeira."

I didn't know how to answer that. I was kind of nervous about asking my father to someone else's house. What if he said no? I wanted to go, but I was just worried about what this would bring to me. "I'm not sure," I said. "He probably won't be able to pick me up because he works and-"

"My dad and I will drive you home," she said. "Is it okay for you to come?" 

"He's probably out front now," I said. "I'll ask him real quick."

Rose followed behind me. I stood on the sidewalk where other students waited for their ride. My father was nowhere in sight. I looked out for Shayla's car just in case, but she wasn't there either. Almost ten minutes had passed and still no one.

"Hey," Rose sat her hand on my shoulder. "My dad's waiting for me in the car. If you can come over later, call me and let me know. We don't live far, and if your parents don't want to bring you to my house, we'll pick you up."

She handed me a small piece of paper with her phone number on it. I told her I would call her and tell her if my father approved. We then said our goodbyes and I watched as she disappeared behind the door of a gray van.

"I thought she would never leave."

I jumped at the sound of someone's voice behind me. When I looked to see who it was, I saw Robert standing with his hands limped to the side. "Sorry," I breathed out. "You scared me for a second."

"Talking to her is fine, but going to her house, Olivia. That's too much." He frowned.

I was a little taken away by his sudden outburst. I was more blown away because him and Rose had some history that I didn't want to be caught between in. I liked Rose, and I liked Robert too. I wanted both of them as friends; however, if I had to choose then that wouldn't have been fair. 

"What is the matter with you two?" I asked.

"She told you something about me," he stepped closer. "What did she say to you?"

"Since you're apparently stalking me now, you tell me. What  is the big deal whether or not I hang with her?"

"I want her to tell you the truth," he said before walking away. From a distance, he looked back at me and pointed. "The truth!"

Frustrated, I stomped my foot hard on the ground then cursed quietly to myself. I surprisingly caught Megan and her copycats laughing at my frustration. "What's wrong, Olive?" One of her friends called out. Just then Megan's boyfriend walked out of nowhere and wrapped his arm around Megan. He saw me and made gestures to his wrist as if he was cutting himself with an invisible knife. All of them started mumbling, "emo arms" and other words that were uncalled for. 

I finally turned away, even angrier. Megan reminded me of Shayla. How I wished I could do what Sunny and I did to Shayla, to Megan. It would be gold. As I stood there, thinking about the things Sunny I could do, I started to consider it. However, I stopped myself from thinking too deep into it. Sunny wasn't going to come to my school just to pull a stupid prank on a high school girl. Or would she?

Forty-five minutes passed, and I was still at the school. Me and two other students were the only people outside. A few teachers even stopped to ask me if I had a ride home, but I told them all the same thing. My dad should be here soon. 

Where was he? It wasn't like him to be this late. I called my father and even Shayla, but no one answered. This was strange. Very odd. Not wanting to be the only one out here, I did something scary. I called Rose.

"Hey," I said when she picked up. "Can you come pick me up?"

***

Rose lived in a beautiful white house in a suburban area a few minutes away from the school. The outside was lovely, but the inside wasn't looking so well. Someone with poor interior skills designed the place, mixed the colors, and just had no type of plan for furniture placement. 

Rose led me into the basement. "Ready?" She said before opening a blue door. 

I was a little shocked to find the basement prettier than most rooms in the house. Trophies stacked right, a huge mirror that hung on the wall, karate belts hanging up, and a soft blue mat underneath our feet. It looked like a small mini studio for a karate tournament. Rose threw her jacket on the floor then faced me.

"Alright," she studied me as I sat my bag down on the mat. "You look like you're my size. Kind of. Um..." Her hand glided to her chin. "Yeah, you should be able to fit the outfit."

I watched as she walked to the wall where her belts were. She picked up two outfits that I hadn't notice before and threw one at me. "What's this?" I caught it.

"It's like a karate uniform. We won't be dancing in our regular clothes," she said then slid off her pants. I turned away fast and looked at the ground. "I'll help you put yours on. The belt and shirt part are tricky."

After she had finished getting dressed, she walked over to me and smiled while shaking her head. "Y'know. You could have put the pants on."

I looked at the pants, then at her. "Right," I said nervously.

She turned away with a smile as if she knew I was uncomfortable with her looking at me change clothes. "Breaking the common stereotype for a moment, just because I'm a total lesbo doesn't mean I'm interested in every girl I look at."

After I had slid my pants up, I walked over to her and handed her the shirt to help me. "I didn't think that at all. I'm just," I tried to think of the right words to say without humiliating myself. "not so used to changing in front of people. I know it's lame, but I have never done that."

"It's alright," she smiled. "Take off your jacket so we can get this thing on." 

I took off my flannel jacket as she told me to. The bracelets slid up as I did, possibly exposing cuts and scars. I felt myself growing red, and part of me wanted to keep the jacket on, but I didn't. Many emotions ran through my mind. Embarrassment, disappointment, anger. I was not proud of my scars. It wasn't something I wanted others to see, and at that moment, I felt like I was the worse person ever for exposing the aftermath of what I had done to myself.

While I was blanked out in my emotions, Rose ran her fingers over my bracelets and gave me a warm smile. "Everything's going to get better, don't worry." She then placed my arms in the sleeves of the uniform shirt. One side of it had to go over the other side and afterward came the belt. She tied it around me in some weird way where the belt was also attached to the shirt. Behind me, she fixed the bent collar that was irratating my neck.

"The uniform makes me feel superior sometimes," she said. "like it's my only way of winning and getting out of dangerous situations. Sometimes I lose. I can't always rely on my uniform, though. There will be moments when I won't have my uniform, but that doesn't mean I can't win." She moved away from me.

I knew what she meant. She was referring to my razor blade. Maybe she wasn't, but that's what I compared it to. I did feel superior with my blade. I did win, but for a few seconds. Rose was telling me that I could still be superior without it, somehow. I didn't know if I could. The blade was a friend I couldn't get rid of. Not now and probably not ever.

***

*May be a few mistakes. I'm using voice to text. Please point out anything and sorry for the late updates! Thank you guys for understanding and being patient with my hand complications!*