What Have I Done to Us? (Phanfiction)

Chapter Six - "The Ones We Will Always Remember"

"Dan's POV"

As I eventually grew tired of tumblr I decided to watch some anime on my laptop. I just sat there for a while mindlessly watching a few of the episodes before I could feel a presence in the room. Phil. I turned around to realise I was right and just ripped my headphones off, threw my laptop onto the lounge and pulled Phil into a quick but meaningful embrace. I felt I needed to let him know how worried I was so I started rambling to him.

"Oh my god Phil, you can't just run off like that and expect that everything's going to be fine afterwards, I was so so worried about you, but after I found you in my room, a huge relief was lifted off my chest Phil, because I knew you were safe, and I-" I couldn't finish because Phil's lips were pushed against mine. They felt soft, but firm as he was leading the kiss, and he push me back down on to the lounge so I was sitting and I placed my legs between his as he kneeled over the top of me, all without breaking the moment. I placed one hand softly on Phil's cheek, while my other found its way to his soft hair and I was tugging at it lightly. He had one hand stroking up and down my back in a loving way, and his other hand was wrapped around a tuff of my hair by my ear. He pushed his tongue through his lips and ran it along my bottom lip, asking for my permission, which I granted and he slipped his tongue into my mouth. He tasted of caramel and coffee, and it felt like our mouths fit perfectly together. I bit playfully at his bottom lip and I felt him smile into the kiss.

Then something must of hit him. He just pulled away from me with the look of shock and fear hinted all over his face.

"I'm.... I'm so sorry..." Was all he managed to get out, and it was barely a whisper. I stared into them, his bright blue eyes, as they became haze-y, and it looked as if he were about to cry. I didn't know how to respond. I had no words to describe how amazing that felt, but also how wrong that felt. We both knew that we weren't gay right? It must of just been a reaction to seeing me or something, or maybe Phil's got feelings for me that he's been hiding all these years. But we were only ever best friends. And Phil was in love with Milly.

Phil picked himself up from the position we were sitting in, and without another word, he made his way to the front door. I could hear it slam behind him.

As much as I wanted to go after him, and ask him why he kissed me, I couldn't bring myself to do it. After what just happened, I felt a bit dazed, and also couldn't bring myself to the fact that it actually happened. It felt amazing, trust me, but it felt wrong on so many levels. What about Milly? Will Phil tell her what happened? Will she ask me about it? Can I tell anyone else what happened? And the most important question, am I doubting myself? Could I possibly have feelings for this tall dark haired boy? When I'm around Phil, my heart flutters and he makes my palms sweaty, and it fills me with so much joy just to hear his voice. I mean, I have had girlfriends, heck, I've even loved a girl once.

**Her name was Daisy, and I met her two years before I met Phil, at a Reading Leeds Festival. She was my first love, and first real friend. We did everything together, and even if we weren't together, we were always talking over the phone or messaging each other. She was so beautiful, with long, curly blonde hair, and eyes as green as emeralds. We ended up dating for a year and a half, and I knew that something about her, made me feel just at home. She once was my whole world. That was before she died in a car crash. It was a Saturday night, and I invited her to come clubbing with me, for a little fun. I told her to meet me out the front of a club with a big flashing sign, that had a massive martini glass on it, and she agreed without hesitation. I thought this was going to be the best night of our lives. But oh how I was wrong. As I was waiting for her to show up, I was just checking my twitter feed, and reading tweets sent to the post about my latest video.

I rose my head from my screen to see Daisy across the busy road, in the most elegant, but sexiest dress you could of ever seen. It was royal blue, reaching down to just above her knees and had one thick shoulder strap on the right side. It was covered in millions of little sequence, and it gleamed bright, reflecting the light from the passing traffic. It fit tightly to her body and defined all her curves in all the right places.

I smiled and waved as she noticed me, and she began hurrying across the street dodging traffic, until she was nearly at my side, when a maniac swerved around the corner and clipped her from the side of the street. It all went in slow motion as I watched her fragile body hit the bumper of the car and fall cold on the gravel beneath her. I felt so guilty, like it was all my fault. I held her in my lap and watched as she died in front of me, and there was nothing I could do about it. People were startled by the scene and it felt as though for just one minute, the world slowed down around us as I watch the life escape from her.

After a while, the police and ambulance came, and they declared it a crime scene, took her lifeless body away from me, and after questioning me, told me to leave the premises. That was the last time I ever saw her beautiful face. I attended the funeral, and cried the whole way through at the thought of the love I lost. But that night was the last memory I had of her, and it was her last, of me.

I visited her grave and sat there with her for hours a day, and just talked about how we used to do everything together, and how it wasn't the same without her staggering beauty filling the emptiness in my broken heart.**

I've never loved a girl since Daisy. I've been to scared to. But 6 months after her death, I met Phil, through watching his YouTube videos, and it felt like at that moment, that emptiness in my heart was filled again. I had found a new companion. And that was all I needed to restart my life.

"Phil's POV"

I just didn't know what I was feeling anymore. I love Milly with all my heart, at least I thought. But that moment with Dan just felt so right, like we belong together. But I've never had feelings for him, not since I first met him anyway. I thought I moved on since I met Milly. I know she's the one for me. What happened back there was because my emotions were all over the place. Dan looked so cute as he was worried for my life, and so I took the opportunity, I couldn't resist. I've been holding off my feelings for him since the day I met Milly, and by now I thought I was over him.

I walked along the now dark, quiet streets following the signs back to my street, not too far from Dan's apartment. I walked up the desolate
avenue, and stopped right in front of my apartment building, before deciding to carry myself to the door. I unlocked the door with a key from my back pocket, and realized that it was dark inside too. Milly must have gone to bed. I looked up at the clock on the wall at the end of our hallway, and it read 10:30pm. I think I need some rest too.

I walked up the stairs to our bedroom, stripped my clothes off down to my boxers, and slipped in under the covers beside Milly, hoping that she accepts my return without fuss.

"Phil, is that you?" She murmured, in her sleep. "Where were you?"

Looks like I have some explaining to do.

Author's Note;

Sorry that I haven't updated in a while but school and stuff happened, I hope it's coming along nicely and I have finally planned out the whole story so I know where it's going ! Haha none of you probably read these anyways but yeah, thanks for reading my story and I hoe you are enjoying it :D