What Have I Done to Us? (Phanfiction)

Chapter Ninteen - "Guilt Written All Over"

"Phil's POV"

After sitting there for sometime, my mind blank, my thoughts scarce, I wonder whether I should call Dan now, tell him everything, or chase after Milly. I don't know if she'll listen, or like the fact that I'm leaving her for a guy, but I can't help my feelings so she will hopefully just have get used to it. I love Dan and I'm not afraid to say it now. I don't know why I was so afraid; probably because I didn't want to hurt Milly's feelings.

After thinking for a while, I decide to call Dan to tell him what happened because Milly just needs some time to cool off. I grab my phone of off the coffee table and call Dan, my emotions all over the place, my throat feeling swollen. It rings.

"Hey Phil, what's going on? I've only got an hour before I get back to London, aren't you excit-"

"Dan... I love you" I cut him off. The line is silent for what feels like forever, all I can hear is Dan breathing. Finally there is a response.

"Phil..." Dan says as if it's a miracle. I can hear him sobbing. My mouth won't work, so I'm left with nothing else to say. "I can't believe-finally-I mean-Phil... I love you so much" Dan says and tears start pouring down my face, but not because I'm sad. A feeling of warmth travels through me and I can feel myself smiling through my tears. I've faced my fear, and I feel like I've lifted a massive weight off of my chest.

"Phil... I-does Milly know?..." Dan asks, his tone sounding worried.

"Well I tried to explain, she got really upset about it which is understandable, but a part of me feels really bad that I had to end it with a girl because I'm in love with a guy" I say to Dan, tears still streaming down my face.

"I'm sure she'll understand Phil, feelings have a mind of their own and can change towards anyone in a matter of seconds, she'll calm down hopefully" Dan says.

"Well after I explained she ran out of the apartment and I don't know whether to go and find her or not" I explain to Dan.

"Well I'm assuming you've had mishaps before, none as big as this though, but anyway, where does she usually go after you've had an argument?" Dan asks.

"Usually to Starbucks or her Mum's, depends what level of angry she is at me" I say trying to sound serious but I hear Dan laugh at my use of English. I smile to myself. "She is probably really angry or upset so she's headed for her Mum's house I assume, so it's probably best if I just leave her alone" I say to Dan.

"Yeah, that's probably for the best then, I mean so she can cool off" Dan says, agreeing.

"Well I don't want to stay here anymore so I'm going to pack some stuff and head over to your apartment, so I'll meet you there when you're home" I say.

"Sounds good then Phil, I'll meet you there when I get off of this lousy train" Dan says laughing.

"Okay then, see you" I say and hang up the phone. I've got some packing to do.

When I get to my room, I remember that I sort of half packed for Florida, so there's not much to do before I leave. I shove a few more things in my suitcase before I zip it up and place it on the floor. I look at myself in the mirror, and I look like all of the life has been drained out of me. Perfect. I really just want to get out of here so I'll just have to shower at Dan's. A part of me also hopes that Milly didn't take the car, because is much rather drive myself then get a taxi. I adjust my hair one last time before rolling my suitcase out of my room. On my way out, I grab the car keys, my phone and my wallet, and put each of them in a different pocket of my jeans. I'm ready.

Relief hits me when I see that the car is still in the car park, and I place my suitcase in the boot. As I open the drivers side door, my feeling of relief is taken over by feelings of shock, guilt and embarrassment. Before my eyes is a very scared looking Logan whose arms are wrapped around Milly, and they keep kissing for half a second before they realise I'm staring at them.

"Uh..." Is all that manages to come out of Logan's mouth. Milly's face is bright red. I'm filled with anger and betrayal.

"LOGAN!" I practically scream at him as I grab him by the collar and pull him out onto the cold cement. "MILLY-How could you!?" I say as I watch tears stream down her face. "I know what just happened with us was bad, but seriously straight after!? Who are you Milly!? Just get out of my car, out!" I point in a random direction in frustration. She whimpers before getting out and backing away from the car. I climb in and almost feel like running over Logan still lying on the ground; almost.

"Dan's POV"

I wake to the sound of my phone ringing in my ears, and I answer it immediately after I see it's Phil.

Hey Phil, what's going on? I've only got an hour before I get back to London, aren't you excit-"

"Dan... I love you" I'm cut off by these words; it's like music to my ears. I've got to be dreaming though. I'm speechless, but I find a way to get words from my mouth.

"Phil..." I say. I can hear him sob.

"I can't believe-finally-I mean-Phil... I love you so much" I say and tears start pouring down my own face.

"Phil... I-does Milly know?..." I ask, feeling slightly guilty.

"Well I tried to explain, she got really upset about it which is understandable, but a part of me feels really bad that I had to end it with a girl because I'm in love with a guy" Phil says to me and I can't help but smile at the last bit.

"I'm sure she'll understand Phil, feelings have a mind of their own and can change towards anyone in a matter of seconds, she'll calm down hopefully" I say, trying to be reassuring.

"Well after I explained she ran out of the apartment and I don't know whether to go and find her or not" Phil explains to me.

"Well I'm assuming you've had mishaps before, none as big as this though, but anyway, where does she usually go after you've had an argument?" I ask.

"Usually to Starbucks or her Mum's, depends what level of angry she is at me" I laugh at Phil's choice of words. "She is probably really angry or upset so she's headed for her Mum's house I assume, so it's probably best if I just leave her alone" Phil confesses to me.

"Yeah, that's probably for the best then, I mean so she can cool off" I say, agreeing.

"Well I don't want to stay here anymore so I'm going to pack some stuff and head over to your apartment, so I'll meet you there when you're home" Phil tells me.

"Sounds good then Phil, I'll meet you there when I get off of this lousy train" I say laughing.

"Okay then, see you" Phil says before hanging up the phone. I can't believe it. I never though the day would come. I pinch myself and I'm not dreaming. I check my phone and see that it says 1:00pm, only 20 minutes to go until I reach London, until I reach Phil. I'm so excited. I've never been so excited to get home before, I usually want to stay at the place I'm leaving, but not today.

I decide to go up the train carts, looking everywhere for Rose, I have to tell her. I find her three carts away from mine and sit down in the seat opposite her with a big smile across my face. She half looks surprised, half looks unsure. I grab her hand and squeeze it in excitement.

"He loves me Rose!" I say and she squeezes back.

"He loves you Dan, I told you he would" she says before giving me a hug.

"I can't wait to get home Rose, I'm just so overwhelmed by everything and I can't believe it" I tell her. She smiles.

"Dan, that's so great, I'm so happy for you. Unfortunately you caught me at the wrong time as this is my stop, but I promise to visit you and ... Phil was it? She says, and I nod. Rose waves goodbye as she pulls her son along with her and I wave back.

I return to my seat with so much happiness and joy it's actually kind of weird for someone like me. But I don't care, I just can't wait to get home.