What Have I Done to Us? (Phanfiction)

Chapter Eleven - "New Beginnings and Old Memories"

So I thought I'd provide a character list so you know who I'd like all the characters to look like :)

Dan Howell - Himself

Phil Lester - Himself

Milly Langdon - Caitlin Stasey

Daisy Ward (Dan's ex/girlfriend who passed away) - Anna Sophia Robb

Logan Butterfield - Logan Lerman

And I'll leave Dan's family up to you :)

******************

"Dan's POV"

I sit motionless on the bed. I am in complete shock and have no control of my body at the moment. Just the thoughts in my head, which aren't good ones. "You've really blown it this time Dan" and "why did you have to fuck everything up". I feel like such an idiot right now. I honestly don't think I can feel any worst than this. Phil doesn't deserve a friend like me, one who tries to make out with him every chance he gets, he has a fucking girlfriend! I don't know what I was thinking. To be honest, I regret going to Starbucks. I regret seeing him again. I should of just stayed home that day. At least I could bare the occasional heartache from his absence. The pain I am feeling right now is way to much to handle. I realise what this ache is now and can't believe it. Jealousy.

Daniel James Howell, is jealous of something he can't ever change. Well done. Feelings-1 Dan-0

I remove myself from the bed, fix up the covers and leave the room, closing the door as I walk out. I never want to set foot in that room again. It was all a mistake and now it's too late to change anything. Phil probably won't even talk to me ever again. Argh, why did I even?

I wander out to the lounge room and switch on the TV. A music show is on, and it's currently playing some k-pop I've never heard before. Oh well great background music for my shitty life. Might brighten it up a bit. I stand in the middle of the lounge room for a bit, just staring at the screen, and listening intently to the song. After the song is over, an ad comes on for a festival hosted by radio dj's on the BBC, and I instantly turn off the TV.

I can't even look at anything in this apartment anymore without thinking of Phil. I can't even turn on the TV without it rubbing him in my face. I give up on London, I give up on Phil, I give up on YouTube. I can't even live in my own apartment anymore. He's driving me out of it with all the memories I have of him.

I walk back up to my bedroom, swing open the door and walk inside. I don't look at anything, I just grab my phone from my bedside table and remove myself from the room again. I walk back out and find my way to the toilet. I flip the lid down and sit on it. I close the door and am greeted by the still pristine poster of One Direction. Eh, I really need to take this down, but I can't be bothered.

I return my attention back to my phone. I unlock it and scroll through my contacts until it reaches Mum. I press on her number and hold the phone up to my ear. It rings and rings until she finally answers.

"Hey Dan, sweetie, how are you?" My mothers voice seems foreign, I haven't called her in ages.

"Uh hey mum, to be honest with you I'm not 100 percent great, I have a favour to ask of you" I reply being as honest as possible.

"Oh Daniel, what's wrong, is everything okay?" My mother worries. She always gets really worked up about things. I suppose it's a good thing that she cares though.

"Well it's a long story, which I will explain later, but can I come back and live with you again? It will only be for a while" I confess. I feel really stupid crawling back to my mum, but I can't live here anymore.