What Have I Done to Us? (Phanfiction)

Chapter Eighteen - "My Heart Belongs To Someone Else..."

"Phil's POV"

I wake to faint sounds of footsteps and the sound of Milly's voice. She sounds like she's talking to someone.

"...no that's fine, I'll just find him, one second... PHIL!" Milly says as she opens the door of the bedroom to find me. Her face is full of shock.

"Phil, what's wrong? Are you okay!?" She asks as she holds the phone to her chest with one hand and her other rests on my cheek. She can tell I've been crying. I want to tell her everything, I really do, but my mouth seems to be disconnected from my brain. I try to hide my eyes from her stare as I let more tears escape.

"Phil, hey, babe, it's okay" she says as her thumb on my cheek catches my tears. "I'll tell Dan to call back later, you're not up for talking" she says as she rises from the bed and brings the phone back to her ear.

"Sorry Dan, Phil can't talk at the moment-" she manages to say before I grab the phone from her grasp and shoo her out of my room, her face showing a confused expression.

"Hey" I manage to say, my voice sounding raspy.

"Have you been crying Phil? Why?" Dan says sounding slightly concerned for me.

"Oh Dan, I just don't know anymore, I don't know what to think, what to feel, I don't even know what to do anymore" I say as I start to cry heavily.

"I wish I was there Phil, I wish I was, to comfort you, but I'm 3 hours away on a train, I can tell you this though, everything will be okay, okay?" Dan says to me.

"Okay Dan, I know this is dumb, but please hurry" I say, wiping the tears from my face. He chuckles.

"I will, I promise to come straight to your house when I get there" Dan says.

"Sounds good then, thank you Dan, I'll see you soon" I say.

"See you soon Phil"

"I miss you Dan" I say into the now dead line. I throw the phone onto the bed and walk out into the kitchen, where Milly is waiting patiently for me.

"Is everything okay babe?" She asks as she embraces me. I kiss her on the forehead, and rest my head against hers, so our noses are barely touching. I shake my head no against hers and she sighs before kissing me on the lips.

"I need to talk to you" I say as I pull her over to the couch. She sits down and pulls me down with her.

"Okay then, we'll talk now" she says as she stares into my eyes. I sigh before I begin. Milly grabs hold of both of my hands and gestures me to begin.

"Well, I'm second thinking this trip to Florida babe... I just don't think I'm ready" I say as tears start to flow down my face again. Milly's face is one of concern.

"Not ready? For what babe?" She says as she wipes the tears from my face with her sleeve.

"Not ready for this... For us" I say as I put my face in my hands, hiding from her expression. I can hear her sigh and start to sob.

"What do you mean Phil? What's going on" Milly says as she pulls my head up, demanding an explanation.

"Well, the thing is, I planned this trip to tell-no- ask you to be mine forever Milly, but I don't think I'm ready for that, and I don't think I'm ready to go to Florida, I haven't been there in years... Or without Dan" I say, meaning everything but feeling so wrong about it. Milly's face tells it all.

"Phil..." It's all that manages to come from her mouth before she breaks. Tears stream down her face, along with my own.

"Milly, I'm so sorry, but I'm just not ready for that type of commitment... to you..." I say as her expression breaks even more.

"But I love you Phil" is all she says before she runs out of the lounge room. I hear the front door slam and all of a sudden I feel guilt. There was no subtle way to break it to her. I do love her so much, but my heart belongs to someone else.

"Dan's POV"

I board the train, find my seat and collapse into it. I am relieved when no one sits next to me and the train departs the station. I decide on calling Phil, so I dial his number.

"Hello, Dan?" It's Milly. I wonder where Phil is.

"Hey Milly, is Phil there by any chance? Not to be a bother, just wondering" I ask nicely.

"Oh, no that's fine, I'll just find him, one second... PHIL!" I hear her call his name. I stare out the window whilst I wait to hear Phil's soft voice. I can hear Milly's muffled voice before she speaks again.

"Sorry Dan, Phil can't talk at the moment-" I hear more muffled movements and what sounds like Phil's voice before someone answers.

"Hey" says a raspy sounding Phil. He must have been crying, he only ever sounds like this after tears have been shed.

"Have you been crying Phil? Why?" I ask, worried.

"Oh Dan, I just don't know anymore, I don't know what to think, what to feel, I don't even know what to do anymore" Phil says. I can hear him start to cry.

"I wish I was there Phil, I wish I was, to comfort you, but I'm 3 hours away on a train, I can tell you this though, everything will be okay, okay?" I reassure my friend.

"Okay Dan, I know this is dumb, but please hurry" he says and I can't help but laugh. He's so cute.

"I will, I promise to come straight to your house when I get there" I state.

"Sounds good then, thank you Dan, I'll see you soon" I hear him say, sounding slightly more up-beat.

"See you soon Phil" I say before I hang up. Only 3 hours until I get to see him, comfort him, tell him I care.

I decide on getting something to eat so I wander through many carriages until I reach the canteen of the train. A familiar face is leaned up against the bench with her son's hand in her own. He notices me and pulls on her arm.

"Hey you" Rose says as she gives me a wave. "How was your mum's house" she asks.

"It was really good Rose, I definitely enjoyed myself, and made a new friend, so that's good" I say to her. She laughs.

"Sounds like fun then, you're making heaps of new friends on this trip" she says referring to herself, and to Chloe.

"Yeah, it's always fun to meet new people I guess" I say as she smiles at me. "So how is your husband going anyway?" I ask.

"All of his fractures are healed, we are actually going to collect him today" she says sounding excited.

"Well that's good to hear then, I'm glad he's okay" I say. "And how Is little Charlie going?" I ask reaching for the little boy's head and ruffling his hair. He smiles at me.

"He's excited for daddy to come home, aren't you?" Rose says as she kisses his hand. I smile at them.

"Well it was good to see you again Rose, we should all catch up soon when your husband has fully recovered" I say waving them goodbye and returning to my seat with a donut.

When I'm done eating, I decide on sleeping to pass the time quicker. I just want to make sure Phil is okay.