What Have I Done to Us? (Phanfiction)

Chapter Twenty-One - "Can't We Just Start Again, From The Beginning?"

"Phil's POV"

I sit there. Unable to move, unable to speak. I became a monster. I broke a promise. I got too caught up in Milly- in a traitor. I left a friend behind. I didn't even say goodbye. Tears start trickling down my face.

I'm surprised he even wants to talk to me after all of this. Why did I let myself go like that? Why did I not care? Love is the answer. I love Milly. I loved Milly. I thought she was the one. Oh how wrong was I. I feel like I've let a friend down, betrayed him, forgotten him.

He mentioned dreams, violent ones. Sad ones. Good bye ones. I don't think I could ever bring myself to ask him what they were about. I'm too scared myself. I remember having one dream of my own, repeatedly over a few months, but surely it's nothing like the extreme Dan described in his letter.

I hear a door close and footsteps, the sound becomes louder and louder. There is a knock on my door.

"Phil? Are you in there? I'm home!" Dan's soft voice bringing music to my ears. I still can't bring up the courage to speak. I probably look like a mess. The door creaks open slowly to reveal Dan standing there in shock. Do I really look that bad?

"PHIL! Are you okay!?" He says rushing over to me. He notices the piece of paper falling to the ground as I watch it, and he drops to his knees. I can hear him sobbing but I can't do anything, I'm still motionless. I'm still speechless.

"Oh Phil... I'm so so sorry please Phil" Dan says, climbing up onto the bed. He wraps his arms around me and wipes his tears on my shoulder.

"This was from years ago, I forgot I even wrote it" he says trying to be reassuring.

"No." I bring myself courage to finally speak. "I'm sorry Dan" I say. He looks me in the eyes with an apologetic look, but I just stare into them, getting lost. Dan grabs his sleeve and wipes away my tears. He leans in to kiss me on the cheek, but before he can, my lips find their way to his.

"Dan's POV"

The taxi pulls up to the side of the road, right behind what looks like Phil's car. My heart is racing right now, I can't wait to see him.

I thank the driver and grab my suitcase from the back all in a rush to see my best friend...? I don't know what to call Phil anymore. The thought that Phil is more than just a friend now sends chills right through my body, it's actually real, this is actually happening. I reach for door handle with my key, unlocking it a quickly as I can.

"PHIL! I'M HOME!" I yell out as I walk up into the lounge room. No Phil, where is he? "Phil!?" I say as I walk along the hallway to our rooms.

"Phil? Are you in there? I'm home!" I say, pushing open the door slowly; it creaks the whole way. I am greeting by a sobbing Phil and I instantly rush to his side.

"PHIL! Are you okay!?" I ask as I watch him eye off a piece of paper as it drops to the floor beneath us. It all clicks. That's that stupid letter I wrote, I can't believe he found it. I should have burned it. I drop to my knees in shock and start sobbing too.

"Oh Phil... I'm so so sorry please Phil" I say, climbing up onto the bed. I wraps my arms around Phil and lean my face on his shoulder. I can feel his shirt collecting my tears that are still falling from my eyes.

"This was from years ago, I forgot I even wrote it" I say trying to be reassuring. I don't know what could possibly be going through Phil's mind at the moment but part of me thinks it's bad. Finally Phil takes the opportunity to open his mouth.

"No." He pauses. "I'm sorry Dan" Phil says. I look him in the eyes with an apologetic look, hoping that everything is okay, hoping that he forgives me. I grab my sleeve and wipes away Phil's tears. I lean in to kiss him on the cheek, thinking that the lips would be a bit too soon for Phil, but before I can, his lips crash against mine.