Blind Love

Kabanata 27

Kabanata 27

"SORRY talaga, Trev," mahinang sabi ko habang katabi ko si Trevor.

"I told you, I'm not mad." Ulit niya sa akin bago maliit na ngumiti. Pagkatapos ng klase namin ay napagdesisyonan naming mag-usap dalawa sa gym ng university.

"I already know that when we're still in Sta. Monica," aniya sa akin kaya nilingon ko siya.

"Paano mo nalaman?" I asked him. I decided to talk to him dahil sa simula noong pasukan ng huling sem namin ay hindi na siya masyadong kumikibo sa akin.

Yes, we were talking pero nakakapanibago lang dahil sa hindi ako sanay na gano'n siya. He used to be jolly and cheerful tapos biglang tahimik na lang siya.

"Remember that night at the party?" tanong niya habang nakatingin sa langit. It's already six in the evening at medyo makulimlim na ang langit.

"Oo," I answered. "What about that?"

"I was, well, supposedly I came back to you when you told me to leave you alone but then, I saw you..." nilingon niya ako at napabuntonghininga siya.

"I saw you with Dash. I saw the two of you crying and hugging each other. I heard everything, Reah," maliit niyang sabi.

I sighed, naramdaman ko ang hapdi sa puso ko at napatitig sa kanya.

"I'm really sorry, Trevor," sagot ko, feeling a bit guilty, pakiramdam ko kasi ay nasaktan ko siya kahit naman na noon pa'y nilinaw ko na ang kung anong meron sa amin.

"If...If only I could unlove Dash, matagal ko nang ginawa. If only I can forget him, matagal ko nang sinimulan but my heart just can't do that. I did everything I can just to forget him wala pa ring nangyari." Paliwanag ko sa kanya. "Sorry, Trevor, kung nasaktan kita, kung napaasa kit—"

"No, you didn't. Hindi mo ako pinaasa," mahinang sabi niya. "Simula pa lang naman, you clearly told me that friendship's the only label you can give me. Wala kang kasalanan, hindi mo ako pinaasa dahil ako lang naman ang umasa." Napabuntonghininga siya. "And just like you, I really did everything to unlove you pero hindi ko talaga magawa..." he shook his head.

"Yes, I was hurt but that's just one of the consequences when you're in love, right? Nasasaktan ka kasi nagmahal ka."

Nakagat ko ang labi at tumango sa sinabi niya. He's right. Naiintindihan ko ang nararamdaman niya.

"I am still sorry, Trevor," sinserong sabi ko. "You're a good friend, really, and I love you for that." Napangiti siya sa sinabi ko.

"At least I heard you saying you love me, right?" Natawa ako nang mahina sa sinabi niya.

"Sorry, Trevor," sinsero at taos sa puso kong sabi. Inabot ko ang kamay niya at hinawakan. Malungkot siyang napangiti sa ginawa ko at hinawakan pabalik ang kamay ko.

"I really love you, Fleureah," sabi nito habang hawak ang kamay ko. "But I guess we're really not meant for each other?"

"I guess so?" I smiled. "You're a great person, Trev, and you can find someone better than me. The one who deserves you more. I'm so sure you will find her if not you still haven't yet."

"Sana," he chuckled at hinayaan ko lang siyang hawakan ang kamay ko. "Sana kapag may nahanap ako, 'di katulad na mabait kagaya mo."

"Hindi naman ako mabait," ngisi ko, gumagaan na ang loob sa usapan.

"Kapag talaga nakahanap ako, who you ka sa akin, Reah!" he exclaimed. I grinned and squeezed his palm.

"If you find someone worthy, I will be the first one to cheer for you."