The kiss got deeper and deeper as the seconds ticked by. Why was I enjoying this so much? Should I be enjoying it this much? We eventually pulled apart as we heard Holly walk up the stairs. Tom stood up to walk out the room but got caught by Holly as he was dashing across the landing.
"Tom! I told you to leave Jessie alone!" she hissed in a stern voice to ensure not to wake everyone else up.
"It's fine. He wasn't bothering me at all," I said, standing up for Tom, not wanting to get him into trouble. I sneaked him a quick wink while Holly looked away.
"I just came to see if she's ok - I'll leave - night," he said, winking back when Holly turned her head to look at me. A smile spread from ear to ear but I quickly made it vanish. Why was I feeling like this? I couldn't help the butterflies in my stomach but I still couldn't stop thinking about Danny. What was wrong with me?
Holly passed me the hot chocolate and we both snuggled into the duvet as Pitch Perfect started playing. I tried to concentrate but my mind just kept drifting off to the two boys. I was still angry at Danny but I couldn't stop myself from loving him but then there was Tom. Tom was so sweet and kind and he sent shivers down my spine and butterflies in my stomach. Holly must've noticed my aimless staring into space as every now and then I'd feel her eyes burning into the side of my head. I ignored her staring and by the end of the film I pretended to be asleep. I wasn't in the mood for talking. How could I talk when I didn't even know how I was feeling?
I felt her climb off the bed and turn the light off before climbing back in. I listened as her breaths changed from fast to slow until she was asleep. I tossed and turned for the next couple of hours until I couldn't take it anymore. I got out of bed and walked downstairs. I felt like I was going mad. My mind was so full of thoughts; I thought I was going to explode. I was so confused. I poured myself a glass of water and sat at the dining table with my head in my hands. I knew all I needed was a good night's sleep so I could get my head together but my head was so crazy I couldn't possibly fall asleep. WHY WAS EVERYTHING SO DIFFICULT?
I heard footsteps coming down the stairs and I looked around for an exit. I wanted to avoid everyone but there was no escape. Tom peered around the doorframe before walking up to me.
"Hey babe," he said gently as we walked across the kitchen towards me. "What you doing up?"
"I couldn't sleep," I replied, trying to avoid eye contact.
"You wanna talk?" he asked, tucking a piece of hair behind my ear, staring deeply into my eyes. He leaned towards me, his eyes moving to look at my lips but I pushed him away.
"No, can you just leave me alone please? I came down here to be by myself," I said sternly.
"Oh so you kiss me and a couple of hours later you don't wanna know me?" Tom asked, anger slowly taking over his body as he gritted his teeth and clenched his fists.
"No, no it's not like that. Please don't be angry," I replied, grabbing his hands to try and calm him down. "My head's just all over the place. I'll call you tomorrow." I said, standing up and walking past him. "Tell Holly I had to leave and I'll see her soon." I said, turning around to give him the message before walking out the room and out the house, not looking back at him. I strolled home, Jackson in my arms as I'd woken him up from his sleep and he was tired. I walked and walked back in the direction of mine and Danny's house although I didn't really want to go there either.
As we approached the house, Jackson started to wake up and was soon pawing my arms to let him go. I didn't have a lead but he was well trained and as it was still the middle of the night, there weren't many cars around so I let him walk along beside me. As we came to our road, I stopped. Did I wanna go back there? Where else could I go? Before I had time to make my decision, Jackson started barking and sniffing the ground before he went zooming down the road towards our house.
"Jackson!" I shouted but he carried on running. I ran after him calling for him to 'stop' and 'come', the commands he knew and usually always obeyed but this morning he just wasn't listening. I kept on shouting to him as I ran and ran desperate to catch up with him. What was making him act like this? I couldn't bare it if I lost him. As I approached the end of the road, where the house was, I stopped dead in my tracks. I saw what Jackson had run after. Stood in the driveway, patting and fussing over Jackson was Danny...
YOU ARE READING
