Lost

Splitting

Parker
I surprisingly didn't have too bad of a hang over the next day. Jesse and I passed out in his basement, and I, again, was up before him. I went upstairs to use the bathroom and see if anyone was here, and luckily Jesse's family was at work. I headed back downstairs and saw that Jess was still out. Not that I was gone for long anyway.
----------
Jesse finally woke up about an hour later and seemed to feel okay too aside from having a headache.

"Wake up boyo."

I said to him as I flipped through channels on the tv.

"How are you perfectly fine??"

He asked.

"I'm not, my stomach feels gross. I'm trying to distract myself though."

"Well, I need a distraction too, so why don't we go out and do something?"

I raised an eyebrow at him. Is he serious?

"Do you actually think either one of us can drive right now?"

"I can drive just fine Park."

He claimed as he winced at his head pain.

"Dude, I can see that your head is pounding, so you won't be able to see well probably."

I explained to him. He isn't usually this... I'm gonna go with stupid.

"Fine, you drive then."

The fuck is wrong with him?!

"Fuck no. Just thinking about being in a car makes me wanna puke."

"You fucking pussy..."

He tried to mumble but I heard him clearly.

"Where is it you're wanting to even go babe?"

I asked him. He looked pissed, as he has been a lot recently.

"I wanted to go see about getting a tattoo. But I guess I'm not today."

Did I hear him right? Tattoo?

"What!? You want a tattoo?"

"Yeah?"

"Permanent ink on your skin? You?"

Jess gave me a look like he was about to strangle me. I was low key scared of that too.

"Yes!!"

"Heck... Alright, I'll drive!"

I insisted to him as I got up a tad slowly.

"You were just complaining about your stomach hurting!"

"I'll suck it up to watch you get a tattoo. Though, I'm sure you'll pussy out of it."

He rolled his eyes. We headed upstairs and out to my car to head to a tattoo shop. It was hot outside and Jess was wearing a hoodie somehow.

"Babe, how are you wearing a hoodie? It's 80 degrees out here."

"Because I fucking can."

He snapped at me. He was back to being a dick again, great...
--------
We got to the tattoo shop and walked up to the desk lady for Jesse to sign in and show the artist what tattoo he wanted.

She called Jess back when she was ready for him. I followed him to see if he wad gonna go through with it, but I wasn't gonna mess with him right now.

"Okay, I'm gonna need you to take your hoodie and shirt off please."

The artist said to Jesse.

"Oh, uhhmm... There's no way that I can leave them on??"

I tilted my head and decided to speak up.

"Just take them off babe."

"Shut the fuck up dude."

He replied. I rolled my eyes as he turned back to the woman and began taking his stuff off. He lied down on his stomach and the woman began tattooing him.
-------
"You're done!"

The woman said to him as she handed him a hand held mirror to see it. He got the "I'm a psychopath" that his dad wrote on his dry erase board in the Psycho Series.

"It looks good, I appreciate it."

He thanked the woman as he put his clothes back on.

"Looks good Jess."

I commented.

"And you didn't bitch out like i thought you would."

I said trying to joke around, but he flipped me off and gave me an evil glare. I had no idea what was wrong with him, but I was getting fed up with it. I'm hoping that it's just his head that's making him act like this.
-------
???
I didn't feel like talking to anyone, yet I felt fine to get a tattoo. I don't know why, but I really just wanted to be left the fuck alone. I really didn't even want Parker near me and I was about to tell him to just go home. We sat in Ridgway's room and watched tv for an hour or so, and Parker breathing pissed me off so fucking much! What the fuck is this? Why do I feel like this? He hasn't even done anything wrong.

"Jesse, are you okay?"

Fuck, why did you ask me that?

"Can you just fucking go home please man?"

"...Wha-... The fuck man??"

I could see in his eyes that his heart just broke a little. What's bad is that I simply didn't give a fuck. I wanted him out of my god damn house!

"Just get away from me and go the fuck home dude! I don't want you here!"

"Wow... Okay, so what's this make us?"

I rolled my eyes.

"Dude, I don't even fucking like you like that! You're the last person I'd even wanna be with, now get out!!"

I yelled at him as I pushed him out the bedroom door and slammed it in his face. I had no idea what was happening, but I do know that I don't like Parker that way. I thought I did, but I only see him as a friend I guess.
---------
It had been about 4 hours since Zippy left and I've just been laying in bed ever since, doing absolutely nothing. I know what I needed to do though...

I grabbed the blade that I took off the pencil sharpener and put it in my pocket as I walked out of "my" room. I walked down to the basement and went in the stupid "Psychopath" room or whatever the fuck that dumbass calls it. I hung the mirror that I had left on the floor back up on the wall. I stared at myself for a minute before I did what I was about to do.

"We need to talk Ridgway... Now."

----------------
This was supposed to be done earlier, but then depression decides to hit for no fucking reason. I had and still have this huge urge to cry that I'm actually trying to hold back crying. Then I'm shaking bad for some reason. As if I was having an anxiety attack, which I'm not.

Also, what's happening here, is that ??? is splitting. It's a real thing and I have so much experience with it. But, no spoilers shhhhhh.