You Know Nothing || Cersei Lannister (GxG)

XXVIII.

This scene was particularly hard to write for me. I may or may not have cried a little. It's very short and very sad.

"Why in the Seven bloody Hells would you do that?!" Cersei snapped at me. I sat, curled up on my bed, her eyes wild as she paced in front of me.

   "I panicked!" I expressed to her, my voice cracking the slightest bit. "Margaery got me very confused."

   "Where were the guards?" She demanded. "They were given specific orders not to let that whore near you."

   "They were back at the Keep. She wanted some privacy so she threatened them with a talk to Joffrey." I said, and she tilted her head.

   "Why did she want privacy?"

   "She apologized. For... kissing me and all. She told me it was very forward of her and that she wanted to be friends. Along with the... marriage proposal." I said, thinking of the way I had promised not to tell anyone.

   'I know nothing.'

   "Just... please tell me why you would accept like that. Why would you want to leave me?" She asked sadly, sitting down beside me. Her hand reached for my own and I took it, letting my knees fall from my chest.

   "I didn't, love. I don't. She told me that... now that my father was gone there would be people lining up for my hand- especially now because he can't protect me anymore. When my brother Robb falls... I'll be the key to the North, and if I'm here, I can't help my people."

   "That little..." she put her head in her hands and mumbled something unintelligible. Then she turned to me- her fingers still laced in mine- and said, "The Tyrells have just made a fool of you, love."

   "What-" I began, but was cut off as she continued,

   "If you can't hold the North in King's Landing, how can you hold it from Highgarden?" She asked. "Which is further south than where you are now."

   The realization come upon me in waves, drenching me with the salty taste of how stupid I was to believe Margaery.

   "Gods." I shook my head, staring at the cold stone floor. "They played me for my family's land."

   "I..." Cersei began, but she had as many words as I did.

   "When are you leaving?" She asked in a small voice, and I couldn't look at her.

   "I don't know. Soon, I suppose." I replied, and there was a long, cloudy silence, the only thing ringing in my ears; our synchronized heartbeats and heavy breaths.

   "I must confess something." I told her, and our eyes finally met, the emerald color screaming thousands of emotions despite her lips saying nothing.

   "Confess." She spoke, her thumb skipping across my knuckles as she gingerly held my hand.

   "I love my family. As most people do, and perhaps a bit more. I thought that maybe if I married Loras I could get my family back, somehow. My father always told me that the lone wolf dies while the pack survives, and I thought that I could maybe bring the pack together again."

   "You thought wrong." She told me.

   "I did." I agreed. "And I regret it deeply. But the thing I most regret is..." I trailed off, unsure of whether or not I should tell her. "Whenever I imagine my family and I, all happy and together again, I... simply can't imagine you with me."

   "I understand." She said, and her voice trembled.

   "I don't know why I fell in love with you." I said as I avoided her watery gaze. "Maybe it was the way you smiled at me. Maybe it was your voice, your hands, your lips... whenever you tell me that I know nothing, it's true. I know nothing other than how much I love you, and that I will never live to see my family together again."

   "I can be your family." She whispered in my ear, lifting my chin up to meet her eyes. "When you have no one left, I swear that I will be the one who stays."

   "You can't promise that." I said, surprised at the edge in my voice.

   "Why not, love?" She asked me.

   "Because I'm afraid I won't stay either."