You Know Nothing || Cersei Lannister (GxG)

LII.

Quick, help me come up with a ship name for Paityn and Cersei. Do you like Persei?

"P-p-pregnant? H-how?" I struggled to speak. It felt as though someone were choking me.

"The last time I had relations was when he took me, I swear it."

"How long ago was that?" I asked, running my fingers through my hair. "I can't remember."

"The Grand Maester said I'm about three, four months along. I... I thought I was just gaining weight."

I stood from the bed and began to pace, clenching my hands into fists at my sides. I wasn't really sure how to feel. Should I be angry, nervous, sad?

"My love, you look tense." She followed me, her cold hands resting themselves on my shoulders. "Do you need me to give you a massage?" Her lips were warm and welcoming on the back of my neck.

"No thank you, dear." I turned, settling my arms around her waist. "It's I who is going to take care of you." My fingers traced circles in the small of her back and she hummed her approval.

"I'm with child, not helpless." She spoke with her eyes closed, and I let my free hand travel in between her shoulder blades, rubbing the knots from her sore muscles.

"My love, you look tense." I teased, and she smirked, leaning forward to plant a small kiss on my lips. "You're lovely, you know that?" I asked, tasting something like bitter fruit on her tongue.

Everything about her repelled everyone else, I had noticed- from her cold hands to the distinct taste of wine on her lips to the way she dressed to the way she spoke to who her family was... but all those "repelling circumstances" only made me want her more. She was the kind of unattainable love that I had always wanted to chase after. Except... I caught it. I caught her.

"Why, you're not too bad yourself." She said, snapping me from my thoughts. I smiled at her fondly and tucked my lip between my teeth, shaking my head. "What are you shaking your head for?"

"I just can't believe that you, of all people, caught me."

She raised an eyebrow, clearly puzzled and I began to explain what I had just been thinking about.

"You know, when you fall in love, there's never a guarantee that the other person will catch you. But you went out of your way to make sure that I didn't hit the ground. Thank you for that."

"Well, it wasn't all me." She looked at the ground shyly. "We hold each other up, don't we?"

"That we do." I replied, and a comfortable silence slipped into the room. She pulled me closer and rested her head on my shoulder, placing a soft kiss there as she sighed.

"Cersei." I mumbled, suddenly troubled now that her comforting voice wasn't humming in my ear to distract me from my thoughts.

"Yes, love?"

"What will Jaime think?" I asked. "About-"

"Nothing." She cut me off. "I won't allow him to see it. It's not his."

"But-" I began, and she cut me off again, this time with a passionate kiss that made me dizzy.

   "It's yours." She said softly as she pulled away, her fingers playing with the rough material of my collar. "I want you to raise it like your own, because it can't be mine."

    I nodded. King Robert was long gone. People would shame the mother and child and they would take it as if everything nasty they had ever heard about the Queen was true.

   "I love you. And I'll love the child as my own." I promised, just imagining the tiny bundle I'd soon be holding. I would love them with all my heart and spoil them and ruffle my hand through their hair like I had dreamt with Tommen.

   "You look... absolutely lovely today." She told me, cupping my face with her hand.

   "And you're the most beautiful woman in the Seven Kingdoms and beyond." I replied, making a thin coat of blush pepper her cheeks like freckles.

   "But... what about Margaery Tyrell?" She asked.

   "Frankly, my dear, I don't give a damn about Margaery Tyrell. I don't make love to Margaery Tyrell. Margaery Tyrell isn't having my child. Most importantly, Margaery Tyrell isn't you."

   "You must write poetry, dear. You have such a wonderful way with words." She purred, tucking a strand of hair behind my ear.

   "I can't write poetry, but I am working on something..."

"Ooh!" She exclaimed, already invigorated. "Can I see?"

"No." I shied away, caressing her waist absentmindedly. "It's not ready yet, I'm afraid."

"Hmmph." She sighed, her shoulders slumping on my chest. "I suppose it's alright."

"Gods, Cersei. What are we going to do?" I asked after a brief silence.

"Whatever do you mean?" She asked, her fingers grazing my cheekbones.

"I have no idea what I mean." I held my forehead against hers. "I'm just... worried for what's to come."

"My love, there's no need to be worried, I promise you. Everything will be alright. We may have endured an onslaught of terrible, unfortunate events, but from now on, I will try my best to make sure that things get better."

   "You don't need to be straining yourself, love. I'll protect you and your family." I said, leaning in to whisper, "our family."

She quickly looked at the ground, and I held her chin up with my hand. As I suspected, she was weeping. A warm, salty tear fell down her cheek and slipped in the cracks of my hands.

"Don't turn away from me when you cry. You've been taught your whole life to hide your weakness, but I don't care about that. I want to see you cry, and bleed. I'd rather picture you as a beautiful mess than a beautiful, wooden machine."

"I love you." She threw herself into my arms, and I held her tight against me, wanting to feel every inch of her soft skin and taste every bittersweet tear that fell from her eye.

"And I love you." I replied, my voice muffled by her shoulder. "More than I've ever loved anyone. The only thing I've ever wanted to be closer to was death."

"No." She sobbed, her lip quivering in horror. "Promise me- promise me you'll stay."

"I already did." I murmured into her hair. "But I'll promise it to you ten thousand times if that's what it takes."

"Gods, I love you so much." She clung to me as if I were her last life's breath and I swore to myself that I would never let go. No matter the consequences, no matter the circumstance, I would not let her get hurt again.