You Know Nothing || Cersei Lannister (GxG)

LIV.

Long time, no update, hehe😅

   "What exactly do you think you're doing?" I heard a voice come down the steps, melodiously joyful and baffled at the same time.

"I'm allowed to bathe, aren't I?" I asked, rubbing the sweet-smelling bar of soap along my arm, soaking deeper into the warm water.

"Well, of course." Cersei replied. "But you could have at least invited me." She smiled shyly, stepping further into the steamy bathhouse. She forced herself to look at anything but me and I noticed.

I looked at her for a moment, and she started back at me, looking so out of place without a glass of wine in her hand. Her arms were crossed over her waist uncomfortably, and her eyes gleamed in the dim room.

I raised an eyebrow. "Well? Are you coming in or not?"

She chuckled in response and looked around, reaching to untie the belt around her waist. I felt a sudden surge of emotion as I saw her naked body, the curve of her breasts and belly prominent against her otherwise slender frame. She unclasped her necklace and put it carefully on the ground, slipping into the bath beside me.

"May I?" I asked as Cersei sighed in pleasure from the temperature of the water, hovering my hands over her stomach.

"Of course. The child is yours." She smiled fondly, intertwining our fingers and placing our hands on her small bump.

"It's mine." I nodded, as if reassuring myself. "You're mine."

"That is one thing you needn't worry about." She nuzzled my cheek and took the bar of soap from where I had placed it on the tub's edge. "Turn around." She murmured in my ear, and I shuddered visibly, shifting to where I faced the back wall. Her fingers barely brushed my skin as she moved my wavy hair over my shoulder. I peeked at her, curious as she lathered the soap on her hands, a playful expression gracing her features.

"How have you been?" I asked her, humming softly at the feel of her palms against my back.

"Lonely, I suppose." She shrugged nonchalantly.

"I've been here, haven't I?" I asked, slightly hurt by her reply.

"Of course you have dear, it's just... I don't know." She sighed, shaking her head. "I don't seem t0 know anything anymore."

"Cersei, don't say that." I turned, her hands falling to my waist.

"I know I shouldn't." She looked down at the water between us, avoiding my eyes. "I'm just so worried about the child, to be honest. I lost my firstborn, and the Frog didn't mention anything about a fourth child. What if it dies as well?"

"Cersei, don't say that." I repeated. "Don't even speak it into existence with your words. Push the thought out of your head and out of your mouth and never think of it again. You are going to have this baby, and it is going to be healthy, with shining gold hair and emerald eyes, and I will love it and protect it to the end of my days. This I promise you."

"You're so good to me." She said, her voice breaking, and I held her in my arms.

"I'm as good as I think any lover should be." I told her. "If you have never felt a gentle touch or forehead kiss like mine then it hurts me to say that your relationship wasn't a good one."

"All we ever did was fuck." She mumbled bitterly. "He felt good, of course, tasted good, but I never loved him for him. Only the reflection of myself I saw in him. It was always a selfish need that I couldn't quite fulfill by myself. Do you understand?"

"Not fully." I told her, being completely honest. "But whatever you need to say, I want you to say it. I want you to tell me all the dark things that go on in your mind and all the sad things and all the bad things and all the good things as well. I want to know you. The real you."

"You know the real me." She said, cupping my cheek with her hand. "You've seen the real me. You've seen my anger, my vulnerability... you've seen my heart shatter into a million pieces at your feet. You've seen me lose a child, lose every ounce of dignity I had left. You've seen more of me than anyone has ever dared to get close enough to see. And I'm truly glad that it's you who has, and not someone else. Because I trust you, and you only in this godsforsaken world."

It hit me suddenly how much I had shared with her, how much she had shared with me. Every shed teardrop, every whispered word... I saw, I heard, I knew. She was ten times the person she used to be, and I was ten times the woman.

Cersei had been so emotional lately, so dependent, and I kind of liked it. I wanted to take care of her, always have. It was as if the tables had turned- I was the smitten adult and she were the spoiled child. I wouldn't have it any other way.

"I love you." I blurted suddenly, running my fingers through her soft, golden hair, dampening it with my wet hands.

"I love you, too." She replied. "More than you could ever know."