Keep It On The Real

27

Yatta's POV

"I'm so sorry for your loss, Ms. Gowans." I hugged Tutu and Sheik's mama.

The funeral service was now coming to an end, and I guess it really started to hit everybody hard. His mother was balling her eyes out yet trying to hide it under her glasses. This was her second loss, since she lost her husband a few years back to gun violence too.

"Thank you, for everything." She spoke since I paid for the funeral. His family wanted to handle it, but I insisted. There weren't that many people either, I'm guessing just very close family and friends. They all wondered why I was being so generous but, I could just relate to the situation so much that I wanted to help out in any way that I possibly could.

"Don't worry about it. If there's anything you need, anything at all, you can call me whenever." I spoke as I gave her my phone number.

She nodded and hugged me again. "Thank you, again."

I nodded and looked around for Sheik. I came alone, since Mamé wasn't feeling too good this morning.

Sheik was too close to leaving during the funeral, but his mother talked to him and he soon came back in. I couldn't blame him though, when we had that funeral for Cork, it was hell for me.

With my pops locked up and my mama sprung on drugs, it was hard for us to get enough money for the funeral. Me, Jasmine's mama and the gang had to come up with the money to pay for it, since no one else would help out. Of course for us youngins, we were talking drug money. The same bunch of people who showed their faces on his birthday, couldn't even pitch in and help when we needed it, talking bout they CorkoLandKrazy.

We were half way through the funeral but, I couldn't take it anymore. I was being hella strong at first, holding in my emotions while everyone else around me cried their eyes out. I stood up so quick and flew out the doors of that church. I remember it all like it was yesterday, my auntie came after me to calm me down while I had my fist balled up, punching on all the walls. Even though my knuckles were pouring out blood, I couldn't stop. Surprisingly, I didn't break anything either. I broke down again and she was right by my side, holding me and telling me it was gonna be okay.

It was fucked up because my mama wasn't there. His own mother, was too busy getting high to come say her last goodbye to her first child. After I got myself together, my auntie sent me to the bathroom so I could clean up my cut up hands.

I went back into the Church and all eyes were on me for a couple of seconds while I took my seat. I sat next to my auntie and she held me and Jas tight, comforting us even though she was hurt herself.

I kept looking over at Tamia as she held baby Gianna, trying to keep her calm as she cried her eyes out. Part of me felt like she knew what was going on but, of course she didn't. I told myself that I was going to do whatever to make sure Gianna got everything and anything she wanted. So, I knew I would have to hustle hard.

I remember when the services tried to take me away but, my auntie wasn't having it. They tried and tried to prove why they should take me into a foster home but, nothing worked. My auntie had a legal job and even though we were still in the projects, she made it all happen. She soon got full custody of me and ever since, I've looked at her as my mother.

I remember back when my mama was clean though, it's crazy because I was probably around 8 years old but I remember it so clearly. She used to be the sweetest ever, and even though her and my pops weren't together, they were still under the same roof to raise me and Cork. Cork's pops was never in the picture to begin with, so there's not much to say about him.