constellations ☆ colby brock

chapter five: panic attack.

*stephanie's pov*

i woke up in my new room and the light was extremely bright. i got scared and the room started spinning. my vision started to go blurry and spotty, and i yelled for help.

i heard fast footsteps and a calming, low voice taking to me. i felt warm hands on mine. i saw the blurred figure of a shirtless boy with brown hair.

colby.

i couldn't understand much of what he was saying, because my breathing was irregular and  the world was glitching like a computer virus around me, but i could make out a few words: "calm down", "breathe", and "i'm here."

i squeezed his hands and felt one to them on my face. him sitting there and trying to help calmed me down enough to get my breathing back on track and i was able to regain my vision.
as the room came back into focus, i looked colby into the eyes and i lost it.

•••

*colby's pov*

i was awaken as i heard a cry for help emit itself from stephanie's room, and i snapped out of my sleeping state and was on my feet running to her.

she was shivering, looking down and was breathing fast and irregularly, and the second she started to wheeze i realized she was having a panic attack.

i jumped on the bed and grabbed her hands.

"steph, it's gonna be okay, can you hear me? steph, calm down, try to breathe, breathe in and out, it's gonna be okay, i'm here, i'm here, it's gonna be fine," i said, my eyes darting from her eyes to her chest to check on her breathing and to make sure her eyes weren't closing from lack of oxygen. i placed my hand on her cheek and held her hands with my other, searching for signs she's calming down in her face. after a few seconds she started to breathe normally again, and when she was finally out of the attack, she looked at me and started to cry.

"oh no, steph, don't cry, i know that must have been scary, it's okay," i said as i pulled her close to me and held her in my arms.

she was shaking and sobbing but i didn't care. i felt so bad for her. she doesn't deserve to go through those attacks. she doesn't deserve anxiety.
she told me last night that one of the main reasons she moved in was because devyn wanted to keep watch of her and make sure she stayed safe when it came to her anxiety.

i felt her push herself off of me and i grabbed her hand and lifted up her chin.

"are you alright?" i said, looking her in the eye.

"yeah, i'm fine, i just wasn't expecting to get one of those," she said quietly, clearly ashamed.

i wiped her tears away with my thumb.
"it's okay. you aren't weak for having panic attacks. they don't change you. you'll be alright. your anxiety doesn't control you. you control it. i promise i'll help you with your anxiety, only if you want me to."

she looked back at me, puffy eyes and all, "i'm sorry for waking you up, i didn't know you would be the one to come get me," she apologized.

"it's alright, stephanie. please stop apologizing, you didn't do anything wrong. i'm just glad i got here in time."

as i finished talking, devyn opened the door.
i turned around to see her rush over.

"oh my god, steph, are you alright? i heard panicked voices," she looked at steph and then to me, "what happened, colby?"

"she had a panic attack and yelled for help, so i ran in to try and help her through it. she's doing fine now."

devyn thanked me and hugged her tightly.
"well, i'll leave you two alone then. call me if you need me, i'm down the hall." and with that, she was out the door.

"are you sure you're okay, steph?" i asked again, lifting her head up with my finger to look at her whole face.

"yeah, i'm alright. just glad the world isn't spinning." she laughed.

god, even in a serious situation like this, she still manages to lighten the mood.

she looked down at her hands in mine and looked back up, her eyes wide and a cherry blush creeping across her freckled cheeks.

"oh, sorry, i didn't mean to- i wasn't-"

"colby, it's fine, don't worry," she smiled at me, nervously giggling a little bit.
"i'm sorry you had to see me like this, i look like shit," she looked down at her hands again.

truth is, she didn't. she looked adorable with her messy bun and her sweatshirt on, and i wish she knew that.

"it's alright, you don't look bad at all," i reassured her, and she smiled, "alright. well, lest go downstairs and get some food, how's that sound?" i said, keeping a hold of her hand and bringing her downstairs.

•••

"so, do you have plans today?" i asked as i watched her shovel cereal into her mouth.

"nope, i have to unpack all my shit," she laughed at me.

"i can help you out if you want," i said, and just as she was about to reply, sam walked in the kitchen and ruined everything with one snark comment:

"help her with what, you sick bastard?" he wiggled his eyebrows and laughed.

"oh my god, dude, stop," i said, and looked back to the giggling mess of a girl in front of me.
"what, you think he's funny?" i joked with her.

sam walked behind her and whispered something in her ear that made her blush harder than the last time.

"totally not, sam." she said nervously and shrunk herself up a bit.

"you never know," he winked and left the kitchen with his cereal.

"what did he just say to you?"

"oh, nothing. but, um-if you don't have plans, i'd be really grateful if you helped me unpack today," she told me.

"deal."

i had plans with brennen today, but i'll call him and explain the situation. i am not missing this chance to learn more about her.

•••

"hey, brother," brennen said from the other side of the call.

"hey, dude. um-listen, i can't hang out today,"

"why not?"

"well, long story short, devyn's friend moved in and she's the most beautiful girl i've ever met and she's funny and sweet and i'm crushing hard as fuck but she needs help unpacking and i don't want to miss that chance to spend time with her."

"woah, dude slow down. so, you're crushing on a new roommate? what's her name?"

"her name is stephanie,"

"okay. what's she look like? i gotta know who my boy's into," he laughed.

"well she has shoulder length curly brown hair, freckles, amazing brown eyes, she's a little shorter than me and she's so adorable, her laugh makes me happy and her smile makes me happy and she's just amazing."

"well, she sounds pretty great to me. don't worry about today- go get 'em, tiger. let me know when i can meet her, alright?"

"no problem. thanks brennen." i concluded and hung up.