I love you //brolby

✖️five✖️

Colby's POV

I wake up again the sun shines through my window I hear laughing from down stairs people talk outside as I left my window open, why can't I be happy like them? I shake myself awake a little more and pick my phone up I had a few notifications but they aren't really anything i throw my phone back down on my bed. I get up and stretch and walk out of my room to the bathroom, I flip on the switch and splash some water on my face, after wiping my face dry I decided to go down stairs, yes I know everyone is down there yes I know they will ask a million and two questions and no I won't give them the answer they want but I really can't hide forever. I walk down stairs everyone is in the kitchen so they saw me immediately they all go silent it's like They saw a ghost I just stand there staring back until it gets annoying "stop fucking staring I'm human still" I snap at them walking to the tv room and sitting down, Elton walks in and sits next to me "Colby, what's up I'm genuinely worried" he asked yeah he was worried I could hear it but I'm not telling him I just can't, I turn and look at him "it's nothing, tell the others I'm leaving for a little while" I say standing up and not listening to what he said I grab my keys and I really didn't know where I was going, fuck it I'm going to brennens even though he has me all kinds of fucked up I can't ignore him, fuck I love him even though I shouldn't

I park in brennens parking lot I sigh getting out of the car walking up to his door and knocking I wait a little bit and soon he opens "oh my god Colby!!!" He says hugging me I hug back and let tears roll down my face onto his shirt "brennen" I say softly into his shirt "Colby.. why are you crying" he asked me pulling out of the hug but his hands are on my shoulders "it's not the time for that question." I say smiling it's a real smile the first one in a while "okay, well come in" he say walking into his house we sit on the couch it's silent until he breaks the silence "Colby you don't have to tell me what's wrong but I just need to know you're okay, because you mean a lot to me" he says his voice cracked In the middle of the sentence I look at him and he looks at me "honestly I don't know if I'll be okay but I'll be alive if that's what you mean" I say looking down at my legs "I guess that's what I mean" he says, I nod in response "oh and I'm done daily vlogging" he says looking at me "if it was because of me I'm sorry" I say my voice cracked because I it was me I will feel so bad "no it wasn't but it was just getting stressful" he says back "o-okay" I reply, why is this so awkward, I just want to be normal for fucks sake, I sigh "listen brennen I can't tell you right now what's wrong or what's happening with me but I just want you to know that when I do tell you whenever that will be you'll probably never want to talk to me again, I really wish it could be different but it can't be I don't know what to do or how to change it." I say taking a deep breath he looks confused "Colby stop, I will never hate you I wouldn't have you if you fucked my mom and sister then told me to fuck off, i could never hate you even if you hated me" he says kind of quite "okay" I say soft and not looking at him, "where's Kobe?" I ask him realizing Kobe isn't here "oh you must not have seen I had to give him to my mom for a little while" he says sighing sounding sad about it (Ik Kobe is back just hush) "oh I'm sorry" I say looking at him then looking away " it's okay I'm gonna get him back soon" he says smiling a little "g-good" I stutter I don't know why I stuttered but I did "do you wanna do something?" He asked me yes I wanna fucking kiss you "oh I was thinking we could just stay here and watch tv or something" I lie but I'll never say what I was thinking duh "oh yeah that'd be cool too" he says turning on the tv and puts on Netflix honestly I wasn't paying attention at all "Colby? Why'd you come here in the first place, not that I'm upset I'm happy you came but ya know" he asked me, I'll tell the truth because then nothing really gets out "well I went down stairs for the first time in a while when everyone is down there and Elton was asking questions and it got annoying so instead of going back to my room I came over here, because I thought you'd be chill. Which you are" I reply being completely honest "oh okay"

Time skip

It's been about a hour of silence just watching tv and I thought it was about time I would leave, it was nice having it kinda being like how it used to be, but it will never be how it used to be and it's my fault. I sigh " hey I think it's about time I leave" I say sighing again looking at Brennen "oh um alright" he says standing up with me, he hugs me "I'll talk to you later bro" he says fuck I hate that he used bro everyone knows that a straight up friend zone "yep talk to you later" I say walking out the door, I'm upset yes but it isn't his fault. I get in my car and drive back home.

I pull into the drive way and just sit in my car everyone is home of course, I walk inside everyone is down stairs kat and sam are in the tv room being all adorable it made me fucking sick and Arron Corey and devyn were in the kitchen being stupid as always but I love them for it and Elton is probably in the garage, I close the door and head towards the stairs and right as I was about to walk up them I hear my name being yelled fucking hell "yo Colby how about you stay down here for a little while and hang out" Corey shouts from the kitchen, I sigh "no but thank you" I say back kinda quite because yelling hurts my voice because I haven't been using it a lot. And I walk up stairs to my room I flop on my bed my face towards the ceiling a just lay there for what feels like forever but was only about ten minutes when I hear my door open, of course I forgot to lock it. I look up and see sam "Colby I know what's up because you told me but you can't let it bother you forever" he says shutting the door I sit up facing him "shouldn't you be with kat and everyone having fun?" I ask him I know I sound like a dick but I'm just not okay right now and I can't control my emotions "Colby you're my best friend I need to make sure you are okay" he says sitting down on the couch in my room " Sam if really doesn't matter" I say "yes it does Colby" he says seriously "no it fucking doesn't why do you even care" I snap, I immediately feel bad "I care because you're my other half" he says "no kat is" I say not even giving a shit anymore " I was just trying to help because I know you aren't okay and I don't wanna see something bad happen to you I'd be lost without you I need to make sure You are okay" he says he sounds like he's gonna cry "sam.." I say standing up and hugging him "I'm sorry for snapping at you it's just a lot is happening right now for me" I say pulling away "it's okay I understand, just please please try to get better" he saying softly "I'll try" I say holding back tears "see you down stairs, ya know if you ever come down " he says slightly laughing "yeah" I reply and he leaves shutting my door. I want to feel better but I don't know how I'm to scared to tell brennen how I feel and I won't be at peace until I do even if he rejected me which he probably will but there really isn't much I can do about that sadly, my phone buzzes I pick it up it's a text from Corey

C: bro how about you come down here and play rocket league?

I sigh

Me: I'm not really feeling it, sorry maybe tomorrow?

C: uh sure dude we just miss you

No they don't how could someone miss something like you

Me: yeah yeah

I throw my phone on the bed and sit down at my desk, I haven't been on my computer in a while I don't even remember the last thing I did, I open my MacBook and of course I was editing a vlog with brennen, i decide to watch it I don't remember what it was, we were just at tender greens having fun and laughing, I miss that it's my fault it's not like that anymore, I close my MacBook and go sit on my bed and check the time 10:48 pm when the fuck did that happen, well it's late I might as well go to sleep and that was the last thought I had before I pasted out

Yo guys how was that? Definitely the longest chapter I've written over 1,000 words holy tits