I love you //brolby

✖️six✖️

Colbys POV

I woke up this morning but it felt different like... I don't know I was a little happier then I have been, but of course I'm still down I guess it's just not as bad right now. I check the time on my phone 12:04 pm.. well shit I yawn and stretch getting out of bed walking down stairs I hear everyone down there but Arron is still asleep what a surprise, I walk down stairs everyone goes quiet, I sigh "stop acting like I'm not human just because I've been down lately doesn't mean you need to act any fucking different" I snap sounding a little dickish but I still can't really control my emotions right now, I walk into the tv room where sam was a sit down next to him "wassup" I say to him sounding happier then I did last time we talked "well you seem to be in a good mood" he says looking over at me smiling "yeah I guess, I woke up feeling a little better today" I say to him, but even if I wasn't feeling better I'm not gonna show it anymore because I'm done with all there questions and if I act normal they will stop asking "good, wanna do something today or do you just wanna chill?" He asked "just chill" I respond I feel bad because I'm never fun anymore but I can't do a whole bunch of stuff yet "how's everyone been? Sense I've been kinda away I guess?" I ask him "everyone has been pretty good, we've missed you.... like a lot" he says putting his phone down "yeah I'm sorry" I say sadly "no it's alright, but are you gonna tell the others why you've been acting weird?" He asked me I sighed " I'll tell Elton but that's it, it's not that I can't trust the others I just feel closer with you and Elton" I say sighing again  Messing with my fingers "alright well I'm going to Kats, talk to you later bro" he says stand up , ew just fucking ew, sorry I just have always hated her.

Should I tell Elton now or later? I feel like he might actually help me. Even though he always teased me about being gay or whatever even though he never actually thought I was gay it was always a joke he's still like a real uncle he's always there for me when I need him. I'll tell him now.

"Hey Elton, I need to talk to you" I yell from the tv room, my hands are sweaty my head is racing, my god I'm terrified "what's up" he says walking into the room moving a pillow and sitting down looking at me, I look at him fear in my eyes "oh no this is serious" he says getting more comfortable, I take a deep breath before I start "okay, I don't know how you will feel about this, but I'm scared of this I've been fighting this for a long time but it's just getting to me now" I pause for a second "go on....." he says "I-I-I'm g-g-gay" say as tears roll down my cheeks "oh Colby, I know" he says hugging me, wait wait what "h-how d-do you k-know" I ask pulling away "Colby It was just obvious for me, but don't worry I know no one else realized it" he says rubbing my back "but that's not all..." I say trailing off "what else?" He asked confused "I-i l-like b-b-b-brennen" I say he gasped and just stared for a minute "oh my god Colby, is that why you've been so off lately" he asked "y-yeah" I say as tears roll down my cheeks "you have to tell him" he says I nod, I know I do but I don't know how "but how?" I ask looking at him "well that's up to you" he says I nod "I hate to leave but I need to finish editing, if you need anything don't be afraid to come to me, okay?" He says standing up "yeah" I say sinking into the couch.

I pull my phone out I got a text from Brennen,

B: yo how are you today?

C: im alright

I sigh I'm not alright I'm fucked up in a lot of different ways but I don't wanna worry him,

B: good, wanna hang out today?

C: sure

I put my phone in my pocket and walk up stairs, i probably have time for a shower. I walk into the bathroom and look in the mirror, I've never had a good self esteem but it's gotten worst, I take my shirt off and all I can  do is point out all my flaws, you how when you stare in the Mirror for so long all you see is your flaws, it's kinda like you change because you don't see anything good anymore I feel like that right now, I sigh turning the water on and strip while the water warms up, I've always hated the way it felt just being naked out in the open, for some reason it made me feel uneasy, it's not really a fear but I just don't like it, after the water warms up I get in, the water hits my back it gives me goosebumps it feel so good, I close my eyes and just let the water hit me, I feel so relaxed so calm I wish I could feel like this all the time but I can't. Eventually I finish showering and get out, I wrap the towel around my waist, the mirror is foggy but I wipe it off with my hand, I sigh looking at my face.