Whispers In The Dark

Jessiah

Jessiah

The flame flickered to life, wavering and swaying from side to side. I held the cigarette between my lips and lit the end, smiling as the brown tobacco turned to orange embers and smoke began to rise from it. I inhaled, choked back a cough, and let the smoke out through my nose.

I lit and relit the lighter obsessively, merely wanting to watch the display of destruction; destroying the cigarette itself and my own body.

People smoked all the time, right? It wasn't weird. But was it weird to like knowing that there was smoke filling your lungs, burrowing into the tissue only to be released moments later? Was that weird?

It probably was, but I convinced myself that it wasn't that weird. There were people who hoarded rats and ate the ashes of their lovers. That was weird. I was not.

Would Anna think I was weird? Did she even smoke?

No, I doubted that. She just didn't seem like the kind of person to do that. She seemed innocent, in a way, as if pain couldn't touch her. She was shy, really shy, but seeing her laugh made it seem like she didn't even care. She was happy.

You obsessive creep, my subconscious mocked. And, really, I knew it was true. I had only just met Anna that morning. We had only talked twice, but I knew that we would be talking again. I was sure of it.

We had the same class first period; Gym, but other than that, we only had a free period together, and that wasn't until sixth period, when the day was nearly over.

She was so pretty, roses in her cheeks and chocolates in her eyes. I could feel my stomach twisting as I thought about approaching her again. I was shocked. I wasn't ever nervous. I was the class clown that got up in the middle of class just to make everyone laugh. I was the guy who did whatever his friends dared him to do just because he could, no matter what it was. I was the guy who talked to girls because they were so hot.

Anna, though, Anna was different. Anna was Anna, the brown-haired beauty with roses in her cheeks and a laugh like bells. Anna, the girl who made me nervous after two conversations.