Chapter 28 The Missing

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Its been a few months now since the camp has been open. Its almost the end of summer which means the end of the camp will be coming soon. Shawn and I decided to head back down to Camp Lakeview to check on the progress. Even though he knew it was doing well he just wanted to be sure.

I was in my room packing a few things for the trip back. I still can't believe that I was going back to Camp Lakeview for the second time this year in 15 years. I wouldn't say that I have gotten over everything that has happened nor am I any better mentally. I still go see my therapist. I even started talking to her now. I haven't opened up to her about what happened in the past or how I'm feeling about it. We kind of just talked.

"Come in," I said to whoever was knocking at my door. "Rayna." I heard my mother say as I continue to pack. "La'Rayna stop packing I want to talk to you." "Talk about what?" "About your progress about everything that has been going on." "I'm not some experiment mom." "I know that. I just want us to talk. I care and worry about you. You know. Ever since what happened we haven't talked. You talk to Shawn. And you are doing so well now that I just want to talk."

I stopped speaking to everyone after what happened to us at Camp Lakeview. I barely spoke to Shwan when we came back. Those that survived were locked up in mental institutions. Those of us who came from money like Shawn and I had parents that refused to let us be thrown into those circumstances.

I was so happy to be home and to see my parents again. At the same time, I felt like I should've died because I wasn't able to save Danielle. What I went through back there at Camp Lakeview no kids should have to experience. I was depressed and traumatized. I would freak out over the little things. I hated being in small spaces and I was terrified of blood. I could no longer listen to music or watch TV. Every day I lived in the memory of camp with sleep terrors. Not only was I seeing flashes throughout the day but I would dream about it at night.

On top of all that I watched my family fall apart. My mother and father argued every day about how crazy I was and that I need to get some real help. My father wanted to ship me off somewhere but my mother wasn't haven't it. She didn't want anyone to label me as a crazy person. In the end, my mother lost the fight because my father walked out on us and I never saw him again.

He would call every now and then just to check up on me but since I never talked to anyone not even on the phone he gave up. He started to write to me and send money but that wasn't enough. I never wrote back. If he really cared he would've never left. He still writes to me but I stopped reading the letters. 

I end up being kind of jealous of Shawn. He was way stronger then I could ever be. He was able to move on. He finished school on time, went on to college, and started a career. His parents never split up. It was like his family cared more for him to actually stay and help him.

"Mom, I'm doing fine." "I know and I see that. I'm proud of you. Your father is too." I didn't respond to that. I didn't know how. "Everything that has happened." "Mom, I don't want to talk about that." "When will you be ready?" "Well, let me check to see what the time limit is on a child who watched an entire camp get slaught while almost losing their lives in the process." "Rayna." "No, that was the problem that was always the problem you guys were always pushing it. You guys tried to get me to pretend it never happened but it did. Then dad called me crazy."

Her face saddening. "You heard that." "I heard everything." "I never meant for you to hear those conversations." "It doesn't matter if you meant to I still heard them and it still affected me." "I'm sorry." "I wish you guys would've done more than I'm sorry." "Rayna," she called my name. 

I looked in the doorway and saw Shawn standing there. He cleared his throat. "I'm sorry but um we should get going. I don't want to be on the road at night." "Um yes, you guys should get going. I packed some food for you guys to take with you." "You didn't have to do that Mrs. B." Shawn picked up my bag and headed towards the door. My mother gave me and hug and whispered something in my ear. "Be safe." 

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