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33

Tuesday. June 30, 1987.

"Start small," Eddie spoke to himself in the bathroom mirror, Will's word's rang in his head. Will the wise. Gay wisdom. Eddie laughed. "Start small."

The boy splashed his face with water, repeating what Will had told him the night of the dance. You can do this. Take it slow. Start small. "You can do this. Start small." Eddie spoke to himself. "Start small."

The scene continued on a loop in his mind as he stared himself down. Just say, Hey Richie. Let's hang out. "H-hey Richie, let's hang out." Eddie nodded. You need to spend more time with him, see how it makes you feel. Eddie sighed, finally turning towards the door to leave the bathroom.

Richie was on his bed, polishing his glasses when Eddie left the small restroom. Richie quickly shoved them off his bed, embarrassed that he'd been seen doing something so uncool. Eddie ignored it and wiped his sweating hands on his pants.

"What?" Richie asked, reaching for his glasses on the floor.

"Want to hang out?" Eddie choked out. Richie cringed.

"Hang out?" Richie teased. "Wake up, it's eighty-seven and nobody talks like that anymore." 

"Whatever, Trashmouth, do you want to hang out or not?" Eddie rolled his eyes and Richie realized he was being serious. He shrugged and put the glasses back on his face before nodding. 

"Okay." Richie nodded. Eddie sighed. It's a start. "What are we gonna do? Wanna go down to the quarry?"

What now? What do  I wanna do? Eddie's eyes scanned the cabin frantically.

 Fuck. Will didn't prepare me for this. What do I say? I didn't plan for this. What if he takes his shirt off? Oh c'mon I've seen him with his shirt off and it's never affected me before.  His head ran with thoughts and it ached as he tried to form the right thing to say. 

 It'll be fine. Wait, no. Eddie gasped at his own internal dialogue. All the while, Richie was watching him with a puzzled face. What was this kid on? 

We can't leave. Leaving means being in public. Public means acting like a couple. Acting like a couple means touching and touching, I am not ready for touching. Not when it makes me feel weird and confused like I do right now. Fuck, I need help.  Eddie sighed, finally. 

"Quarry? Ye- No! I mean, no." Damn it. Eddie, think. He'd done enough  thinking. What he needed was an answer.  "Excuse me, I have to uh-" the boy paused. "Clean my glasses." 

It took Eddie half a second to realize he didn't wear glasses but it was too late. He internally groaned, but shook it off as he made his way out the door before Richie could say anything else. Seconds later he ran back into their cabin and gave Richie an unapologetic thumbs up before shouting. "By the way, we're still hanging out. Give me five minutes." 

The small boy scurried out the door and down the stairs once again and ran to Bill's cabin a few feet away. He banged on the door, tapping his foot impatiently. Within a few moments of standing there, he could hear footsteps on the other side of the door, approaching. He stumbled backwards and away from the cabin. I can't tell Bill. He's got his whole love affair of his own to deal with. Eddie thought to himself. He couldn't throw this onto Bill especially after being such an absent friend to begin with. What with his new connection to Will, and Bill's newfound romance, the pair had hardly even spoken. 

Fuck.  Eddie cursed. It looked like he was on his own for the day. Project Eddie figures out his feelings is a go.  Eddie shook his head before speaking out loud. "Jesus, I really need to stop talking to himself."

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damn it's been too long. hopefully people are still reading this? we'll see. Sorry I left AHHH it was a combination of writer's block, being busy and just plain lack of ideas/ motivation. But I'm back!  UHM ALSO I WAS V DISTRACTED BCCCC [insert blushy face here] I met my crUSH ok. If you read my little notes then you probably see me talking a lot about  - blurrf - *cries* and she's so gr8 and yes she's inactive on here now but i know some of yall liked her story when it was still up *cough* no homo *cough* but anyway yeah I met her on november 4, and i was very happy and ahh guys i like her a lot ok ask anyone i talk to. anYWAY i was VERY distracted and yeah that happened and it's so cool to talk about and wow im sucha  happy bean ohmygod but yea im gonna see her again for new years so wish me lucK? HA but u dont care lmao so back to the writing notes uhm WHAT do you think of Eddie? He's being a lil more open about how he feels? which is exciting and yeah. sorry and i wont leave for that long again. -sorry it's short, I was trying hard but it was difficult to get out of this stump i was in.

loVE, kat and I MISSED YOU ALL

12/09/17 @10:24 PM