I'm on fire

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It's been a few weeks since the argument with Ryder. I've tried to distance myself as much from them. What Ryder said made me think. I shouldn't lie to them, but if I can't be honest with them, how am supposed to be there friends?

Friends aren't supposed to keep secrets from each other. But here I am, keeping my whole life story a secret from them. They probably tell me the truth about everything and I can't even tell them one thing.

It's finally October and a Saturday and I'm lying in bed. It's 01:17 in the afternoon and I'm resting. My wound has fully healed. Deciding to go food shopping, I hauled myself out of bed and made my way to the bathroom.

After my shower I put on some black ripped jeans and a woolly cream jumper and a pair of black and white converse. The weeks have been normal and strange at the same time. I've not heard of the Black Roses, but I'm tried to distance myself from the guys and I think they now it too. I go to school, come home, however I sometimes go to the Underground.

I make my way outside my apartment after deciding not to have breakfast. I walk down the street fairly quick for being stabbed a couple of weeks ago, but I guess that's how I am.

Strolling down the chocolate isle, my favourite isle, I pick up some Cadbury Oreo chocolate and place it in my trolley. Yup I place not chuck like I chucked all my vegetables in. Chocolate needs to have special services. I over head some voices.

"I'm just saying dude." A guy says.

"Shut up before I make you" another says. Then I hear laughing from a few other people.

I carry on with my shopping turning down the isle where the voices are. I quickly try to back away but I am spotted.

Shit! Shit! Shit!

"Ugh, Hey?" It came out like a question. I'm in a very uncomfortable position right now. Like it's so awkward I feel like dying. I give a little wave with my right hand before slowly backing away. Although because the universe is never on my side I back into someone, I know it's a someone because a wall or shelf don't wrap hands around your biceps.

Kill me now!

I turn around slowly and give a sheepish smile. He looks mad. I guess he would, Ive been ignoring him. I try to shake him of, but he grips on to my tighter.

"We need to talk" is all he says before dragging me out the store with the others following.

We round it to the side of the shop and just stare at each other.

Awkward!

"So" I started. I looked around nervously, hoping that something would drag me out of this.

"Why have you been avoiding us?" I can tell Ryder is angry by the time of his voice. The others I can tell they are a bit angry, but clearly not as much as Ryder.

"I ha-" I tried to answer his question but was cut off.

"Don't bullshit us. We know you have and we want to know why." He fumed. His knuckles were clenched and his nostrils flared.

"It's not a big deal, I just needed space to think." I reassured, while walking away. I didn't get very far when Kaiden spoke up.

"Look, were just worried about you. You basically ignore us for weeks after we save your life, then come up with the reason you need space? We just want the truth." Unlike Ryder's tone, Kaiden's was soft and calm, like he didn't want to fight.

"When the time is right, I'll tell you everything, I promise. Right now is not the time or place. I'll see you on Monday I guess." I ended the conversation with my back still facing them and started quickly walking away.

For the first time in a while, I felt sad. Sad that I had to keep secrets. Sad that I can't have a normal life. Sad that I'm running. Sad that I have to watch my back every time I go somewhere.

I walked home kicking rock from the ground making them role different ways. I'm honestly so confused on what to do right now.

Once I got home, I remembered I didn't get the food. I groaned and walked to my bedroom to get some tracksuit bottoms on and a hoodie, before ordering a cheese pizza and collapsing on the coach. I put on The maze runner.

If you do not like Dylan O'Brien or The Maze Runner, please leave.

Dylan O'Brien is like my favourite actor ever and this movie is de bomb.

I was up to the bit where he gets attacked by Ben, when the doorbell rang.

PIZZA!!!!!

I sprinted to the door after pausing it and opening it with a gigantic smile on my face, snatched the pizza from the guy, shoved fifteen pound into his hand, slammed the door in his face and returned to the film and pressed play.

It's the end of the film and I'm sat here with a empty pizza box on the floor, a box of tissues next to me and tissues scrunched up on the floor: crying. I can't believe he died. He was so young.

Leaving the mess because I'm too lazy to clean it up, I shuffle into my bedroom and fall asleep on my bed.

Leaving the mess because I'm too lazy to clean it up, I shuffle into my bedroom and fall asleep on my bed

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Song: Hedley- I'm on fire

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