Northern lights

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"Is he going to be okay?" I question as tears stampede down my face. The doctor starts examining Luke's wound while I try and fight my way to Luke's side. Obviously the doctor told me to leave the room so he can do his job properly, but I didn't listen as you can see. Strong arms clamp around my waist and drag me out the room. Once the arms release I spin around to see I'm downstairs in the lounge in the gang house.

There's a war going on in my head, bombs exploding, guns firing. Luke is going to be okay vs Luke going to die. What if he does die? He's the only family I have. How am I suppose to forgive myself. The bullet was meant for me- but of course Luke had to be a hero and push me out the way.

"He'll be okay, Crystal. Docs the best." Justin comforts me while slowly sitting down next to me.

"Yeah, you'll be back arguing over the TV in no time." Jayden agrees and I let a slight chuckle at his words.

Ryder walks up to me, hold his hand out in front of me and says "Come on, you are covered in blood and look like your about to pass out, you go get a shower and I'll fix you up with some clothes." Grateful for his kind and gentlemen actions, I whack my hand onto his and lock them in place while he pulls my weight up. He wraps his arm around my shoulder while we walk to his room, we pass Luke's room where the doctors fixing him up and I stop for a moment as my breath hitches as I see the maroon coloured stains as they stitch him up.

"Come on, Crystal. He wouldn't want you to see him like this." Ryder nudges me down the corridor as tears swirl in my eyes.

"Here you are, I'll leave some clothes on the bed." Ryder starts walking out of his bedroom, but stops at the door and looks over his shoulder "He'll be okay. He's strong."

"I know." I whisper to myself before sighing and trudging to Ryder's on- suite bathroom.

I step into the shower, I stand there for a few minutes just feeling the water pelt down on my skin, watch how the water goes from a clear- blue colour to a pink, when it swirls down the plug it consumes me as I get hypnotized into my own dreadful thoughts.

If he doesn't make it, what am I going to do? I cant lose him, not my only family, I made the mistake of letting myself get distracted and he might die because of my mistake.

Not only am I worrying about how Luke may die, but I don't feel sorry for killing Nick. I mean I should feel something, right. He was a human being and I killed him, but I don't feel sad, happy... just nothing. It even slipped my mind that he is actually dead.

I'm a murderer.

I quickly scrub myself clean and wash my hair, get changed into some of Ryder's baggy sweatpants and one of his baggy hoodies-which is one of the most comfortable things ever. Honestly, Ryders clothes make me feel safe, protected; if it was anyone else's I would feel scared still, worried. And that's what petrified me, am I falling for him? Yes we didn't start of too good, but we've became friends, he's one of my best friends.

A knock on the door snaps me out of my thoughts. I shuffle over to the door and swing it open, a tired look plastered on my pale skin.

"Hey umm.. we made some food. Ryder says you have to eat, I can use force if necessary." I turn around to get some socks when I hear him say "You need to be eat, babe." Ahh always the flirt.

I roll my eyes at his name for me before replying"I'm just getting some socks, Justin." I laugh at him. Shutting the door behind us we walk down the stairs in a comfortable silence and I'm glad that he hasn't asked if I'm okay or for me to tell him about what Nick said.

The delicious smell of sweet chilli pizza meets my nose and I sprint off leaving Justin in the wind. I grab a couple of slices of pizza before anyone can even process what's happening and devour it up.

"Seriously. I made the pizza and I don't even get first bite, are you freakin serious." Kaiden throws his hand up in the air before taking a slice of pizza ad moodily eating it as we all laugh.

Dusting my hands of, I stand up saying "Thanks for the pizza, guys." I make my way to the door when I here Jacob ask "Are you going to go see Luke?"

"Yeah, you guys wanna come with?" I raise an eyebrow at them as they start shuffling towards me. I walk up the stairs to where Luke is. The room is a light blue colour with a single bed on the left wall, with a wardrobe on the right wall and a window on the opposite wall of the door.

Seeing as the doctors isn't in the room, I gently push open the door and pop my head through the gap. "You can come in, Gem." I swing the door open, laughing when the door flings back and whacks Caleb in the side.

"Shut up." He mutter and I quickly compose myself and walk over to Luke.

"You a dick." I bluntly say to him as I gently sit on the edge of his bed, Ryder sits on the random chair in the room and the others just stand around.

"I'm sorry. I couldn't lose you." He sits up and wraps his left arm around me careful not to hurt his injury. "Plus I'm stronger than you." He smirks.

"Cocky ass." I mumble shoving him slightly. "Well never do it again. I can't lose you." I hug him back. "I'm glad you're okay though. I love you, Lucy."

"I love you to, Gem" We pull away and smile at each other, showing off our perfect white teeth. "Anyway how are you?" Luke asks concern in his voice.

"What do you mean?" I tilt my head to the side a little.

He gives me a pointed look and says "I mean, you can't expect me to believe you are alright. Especially with what he said to you. It still bothers you, you have nightmares don't you?" I nod my head and he lets out a sigh. "It wasn't your fault, you need to forgive yourself."

Forgive yourself, I promised Jake I would and now Luke I telling me to. Maybe I should forgive myself.

"I think you need to tell them everything because they're obviously confused and maybe it'll help you forgive yourself." I look behind me and see them nodding there heads.

"Okay" I breathe.

Song: Jaymes Young- Northern lights

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Song: Jaymes Young- Northern lights

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