But could I bring myself to do this? Shawn seems to be all about power and control. After all, he does not appear to be that much older than me. Shawn is glancing right into my eyes, waiting for me to answer. He is used to calling all the shots, I can tell.
"What is your answer? Do you think you can handle me being in control?" Shawn questions. There is no hesitation in his voice. It is like he is on the edge of a merger, forcing the outcome. Literally taking the bull by the horns.
"I want to know more about you before I just basically give up my independence to you," I state. Silently proud for the first handful of times in my life speaking up for myself. Shawn grins like his a cat. Yeah, a cat that cannot wait to his claws in me.
"You do not have to give up every aspect of your independence. All you will have to do is go out on dates and sleep with me whenever I ask you too. Trust me my work keeps me busy most of the time. And you are in school correct?"
"Yes, UCLA," I answer. Am I actually considering this arrangement? What if Shawn turns out to be a jealous creepy stalkerish asshole? What will my mom think of all of this?
Nevermind I do not want her to know. She cannot. Shawn waves his hand to the waiter. He pulls out his credit card, paying the bill, and throwing a hundred dollar bill on the table. I am going to assume as a tip. Shit the last time I remotely held a hundred dollar bill was whenever I paid the cable bill before I left home.
"Great school and your major?"
"Are you really interested in what my major is? Or you just using this as a barrier to push me into this arrangement?"
"Straight to the point?" Shawn questions and then get up. "I am interested in learning about you Austin. But I understand if you are hesitating about this whole thing. Here is my card, with my information. Why don't you think this over a for a few days?"
"Seriously?" I inquire as I blink in disbelief. Is Shawn willing to let me decide this? It seems shocking. Shawn nods his head but, would it be fair to make him wait?
"My major is a business. I want to operate my own business one day. And Shawn if I agree with this you have to promise to let me have my own space. I am the first person in my family to actually make it to college. So this is important to me."
"I understand," Shawn replies. "You want to work hard for everything you have. I just had shit handed to me. But, does not make me dim. I still on my grind every day improving."
I catch a glimpse of him in this moment. He admitted he basically did not have to work hard for the money he has. Probably, a trust fund baby who took over a family company. Or I could be wrong.
But either way, he probably never knew what it was like to go hungry or hear his mom cry because she could not afford to buy her son new shoes. Because the ones he had was already worn full of holes.
"Shawn?"
"Yes?" He answers back as he moves closer to me.
"How soon do you want me to begin?"
"Tonight," Shawn states. "Come on my house is not that far from here."
YOU ARE READING
Shaddy <Gay Shawn Mendes ff>
Fanfiction"And what do I call you?" I gulped. Shawn's towering presence almost engulfing mines. "You call me Shaddy," He replied without any hesitation.
