perfect strangers- sam winchester x reader

the cave

you are a wreck. the confusion over your feelings for sam... the continuous nightmares... you've been living with the winchesters' for nearly seven months now. your days consist of sleeping, crying, and eating maybe one full meal a day. for the last two months, you've refused to leave your room. sam comes in every other hour or so with bits of food. dean comes in with cards and his computer, playing music and teaching you about hunting. they've been babying you, and it's miserable. they take turns going out on cases. dean is eager for you to go on your first hunt, sam... not so much. he'll coax you out of your room every now and then to go on a short walk outside; because, as he constantly reminds you, "fresh air is important." you know you can't do this anymore. you can't do this to yourself, and most importantly you can't do this to the boys.

"hey." sam says as he walks in.

"hi." you choke out.

"how are you doing?"

"fine... i'm... good actually." sam takes a seat next to you. he smiles.

"that's good." he takes your hand and gently kisses it. sam's gentle affections happens every time he sees you. you accept them, although they confuse you. it's hard to tell if he really cares or... what are you thinking? of course he must care at least a little... otherwise he wouldn't do all this for you. right?

"i want you and dean to go." you blurt out. sam presses his eyebrows together, and looks at you confused and concerned. "not, like, go... go but go on a hunt. together. i'll be fine." sam tilts his head to the left.

"why?"

"i don't want to interfere with you guys. i feel guilty that you stay home..."

"don't. don't feel bad. it's our choice."

"but please, go on a case together. please." sam forces a smile. whenever he's around you, he doesn't seem happy. he seems... depressed. you can't handle that your feelings are rubbing off on him.

"we can do that." you smile.

"thank you." he brushes your hair out of your face and kisses your forehead.

"anytime."