You Can't Win This Fight! (Avenged Sevenfold)

Chapter 19

Thanks to being unable to fall asleep, I'd now slept in. It was 9.57am and Matt was going to be here in an hour.

I jumped straight into the shower, trying not to think too much about last night. I got dressed and then did my usual standing there and criticizing myself, I really didn't know what to wear, I mean what does someone wear to lunch? I was working myself up again, my hair was wet and just hanging there, what the hell was I going to do with that?

I should cancel, I thought, make it another day. I walked into my room and grabbed my phone, it started ringing in my hand.

Good, maybe he was cancelling, but I glanced at the caller and it was Marley, I just didn't have time to talk to her now, I would have to call her back.

Back to my hair, I just dried it and tied it up, arghhh, now makeup. It was lunch so just a little bit. I looked okay, not fabulous, just okay.

I grabbed my phone.

"Lilah, it's me, what am I doing?" I cried as soon as she answered.

"What Ana, what's wrong?"

"I can't do this, I actually have no idea what I'm doing."

"Ana calm down, it's lunch." She was trying to soothe me but it really wasn't helping.

"Oh god Lilah, I've never dated, oh god I've never kissed anyone else." I was completely freaking out now.

"Ana, that's not entirely true, you kissed Matt last night."

"God Lilah."

"Well it's true, you have kissed someone else, that's all I'm trying to say"

I sat on my bed and put my head on my knee's. "Jesus Christ, what if he want's sex, oh god, it'll be like losing my virginity all over again."

"For fuck sake Ana, I hardly think he's going to bang you after lunch, and besides, it's sex, I'm sure you'll do fine."

"Lilah please."

"Look I realise that you've never been with anyone else Ana, but it'll be fine, honestly, Matt's a really nice guy, tell him, I'm sure he'll understand."

"I'm not telling him for fuck sake, what would I say?" What a stupid idea!

"I don't know, maybe, Matt I've really only slept with Jacob so be gentle." She started laughing.

"Lilah, really." I was smiling, she was calming me down.

"Look, stop worrying about stupid stuff Ana, it's time for you to move on, and you are, with Matt, so just be happy alright, I'm sure all the stuff your scared of will be fine, honestly."

"Thanks Lilah, for calming me down, though I can't guarantee I won't freak out again."

"You can call me anytime okay." She started giggling "But don't call me when your naked on Matt's bed, you can deal with that freak out yourself."

There was a knock on the door. "He's here I gotta go."

"Remember, safe sex Ana." And she burst out laughing and hung up.

I went to the door smiling and opened it.

Oh god, there he was, smiling that damn smile.

"You ready?" he asked me.

"I guess." I shrugged, grabbing my bag.

We went downstairs and got in his car, I wondered if he would kiss me again? What if it was that bad that he wouldn't? Oh no, now I had something else to worry about.

"You okay?" he asked looking at me.

No, no I really wasn't,  I was having lunch with you, for some reason you make me crazy and I'm scared, absolutely terrified that you won't like me because I honestly think I could fall in love with you.

"Yeah I'm fine."