Magnanimous (Blue Exorcist ~ Yukio Okumura)

Chapter 36

I ended up falling asleep against Yukio on the couch in his dorm building, and when I woke up I could see he had fallen asleep also, and that it had to have been late out. As I gazed back up at Yukio, I decided he looked a lot more peaceful than usual, and leaned against his side further again, staring into the distance.

What if girls like Kashino are the only reason he is dating me?

Maybe he's just trying to keep them away, just a plan to make them leave him alone. 

I sighed internally, blinking slowly as my eyes became more used to the dark room before I closed them. He would never do that.

No, he would never admit to doing that. 

Yukio wouldn't date me if he just wanted to keep the other girls away from him, he wouldn't do that.

He might. There's nothing I have that the other girls don't, they aren't all stalkers. 

Yukio wouldn't do that. He cares too much.

How do you know?

"Akilina?" A soft voice called, barely audible and cracking in its tired tone. Yukio shifted his head over to look at me, fixing his crooked glasses as he looked at me with tired concern. "What's wrong?"

"Hm?" I hummed at him, then realized I had small tears forming and falling down my face. I quickly reached my hand up to wipe them away. "Oh, I'm okay," I mumbled. "Sorry."

The arm that Yukio still had around me tightened around my chest as he pulled us up so he lied across the couch with me straddling his lap. I rested my chin on my forearms after crossing them on the boy's chest. He looked me in the eyes through the clear lenses of his glasses, and we could barely see each other in the dark room, but we could still easily enough make out each others features- which meant he could see my red eyes. 

"What is it?" He asked softly.  

I shook my head and closed my eyes, turning my head to press my face against my arms on his chest, which rose and fell with each breath of his. Yukio had one arm under his head on the couch, and moved the other up to gently touch my back over my t-shirt - well, technically his shirt that I borrowed so I wouldn't have to go back to my dorm. 

A small sigh made my chest slowly fall, and I could feel Yukio's fingers gently moving up and down, running over the fabric lightly. "Is it about that girl?" He asked in a soft mumble.

My shoulders moved up and down slowly in a small shrug. "Minette," he said softly. With a small sigh, I turned my head again to look at him, hiding the lower half of my face behind my arms on his chest. "What's bothering you?"

It was stupid I would even be bothered by this, whether Yukio was dating me if he liked me or not. And I didn't want him to feel obligated to try to reassure me he wasn't dating me as a ploy to get away from other girls, even if it was true. Even if it wasn't true- even if he was dating me because he liked me enough to- then he would hear another sob story from me being insecure. 

"Is it Kashino?"

I looked down and away from the boy. "I just... it's nothing, it's stupid, but...would you... ever date someone as a ploy to get those girls off your back?"

"No, of course not," his voice raised just slightly, still just barely above a whisper. Even though I wasn't looking at the boy, I knew he was looking at me like someone had shot his puppy. "Akilina, I would never do that," he confirmed, his fingers still running up and down my back. "I wouldn't force myself or you into a relationship one of us didn't want. I promise you that's not what I'm doing. Why would you think that?"

I shook my head slightly with another shrug, still not looking up  at Yukio. "There's... nothing I have that those other girls don't. Just because I happen to be one of the ones that's not a stalker..." 

"There are many things you have that the other girls don't," Yukio reassured me. "You are a very tactical person, you think everything through. And you didn't like me for my accomplishments and my status, like most of the other girls do. Even Shiemi, sometimes... But you liked me for me, you let me be myself around you, we don't have to stay on the topic of school or work or friends. And you care more about other people than anyone I've ever met."

My eyes traveled back up to look at Yukio, who returned the glance with his soft smile, our faces only inches away. He looked at me gently as I gazed back down. "I'm sorry," I shook my head, "I shouldn't be acting stupid like this."

"It's not stupid," Yukio assured me. "It's okay. But I would never do that to you."