Socially Awkward (Camila/You) Au

62

Y/N's POV

Just as I was about to shut my computer down and go to sleep, I saw that Camila requested a Skype call in which I accepted.

"Hi Bambi," I tiredly smile, but my smile immediately disappeared once I saw her red puffy eyes and tear stained cheeks.

"Y/N..." her voiced cracked.

"Camila, baby why are you crying?" I worriedly asked.

I frowned and touched my computer screen, my heart ached for her. How badly I wanted to be with her and wipe away her tears and whisper sweet nothings into her ear, hopefully mending her broken heart.

"I love you so much," she started and chocked back a sob, "but I can't keep doing this."

"What are you talking about?" I asked genuinely confused.

"This relationship, this long distance relationship. I can't do it anymore Y/N," she admitted.

I looked into her eyes to see the most heartbreaking thing ever, she's telling the truth, she's given up on us. I can see how done she is with this long distance relationship and that's what broke me me the most, seeing her give up on something so precious.

"This is me, breaking up with you Y/N," that sentence was so quiet that I almost missed it.

Seeing her give up was nothing compared to hearing her give up on us. I didn't think it would be that painful, but no, it hit me twice as hard hearing her end things.

"How? How did you change your mind about us?" My voice shook as I held back my sobs.

"The pain Y/N, the pain made me change my mind and I don't think I can deal with it any longer," the sympathy in her eyes made me want to throw up.

These different feelings start to overwhelm me, especially this one feeling I was familiar with.

Have you ever felt your heart physically break, like you actually feel it disconnect? And it gets hard to breathe, then your throats just feels like there's something heavy blocking it as you try to hold back your cries? Your chest is the worst, it literally feels like your about to fall down due to this heavy as weight sitting on your chest. Your vision goes blurry and your cheeks heat up due to the hot tears slowly cascading down your cheeks. Your nose becomes blocked and your sniffling as well as wiping your tears away. Your head feels light, but it's replaying those dreaded words all over again to try and process what actually is happening right now 'cause you don't want it to be true.

Yeah, that's fucking heartbreak and it's happening to me right now.

"I still lo-"

"Don't Camila, you can't say that anymore," I whispered, if I spoke any louder I would be a sobbing mess.

A squeak came from her as she cried freely, she tried stopping by slapping her hand over her mouth, but it didn't work.

"I-I need y-you to k-know that I-I still love-"

"Stop, please," I weakly begged. I closed my eyes letting my tears fall faster as I shook my head telling myself to stop crying in front of her.

"Y/N-"

"No Camila, it's like you actually want me to be in pain," I shakily said, trying to compose myself.

"I don't Y/N, I really don't," she sniffled.

"Then don't tell me you love me when you're ripping my heart out," I sneered.

"Y/N-"

I ended the call and angrily slammed my computer lid down. I curled up into a ball and let myself go, my body was shaking in sobs as I shoved my face into my pillow trying to not to be loud.

Everything was going great, we haven't even been fighting lately , if anything we were doing amazing with our relationship. We shared everything with each other, we trusted each other, then suddenly she wants to end it. She wanted to break up, where the fuck did I go wrong? Was it my fault? Did I not pay a lot of attention to her? Did I ask her of too much when we started this long distance relationship? Is there someone else? Was I not enough for her? 'Cause lord knows she was enough for me, she was everything to me.

I had just lost my muse.

I really wish I could hate her, but I know I don't. Even though she's the one who ripped out my heart and stepped all over it, I still wanted to wipe away her tears and hold her to make sure she's alright and I really fucking hate that I still feel this way.

I'm still hopelessly and utterly in love with Camila Cabello and in the for the first time in a long time, it hurt like an absolute bitch.

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A/n

Two or three more chapters and I am officially done with this book.

Thank you for all your support and love!

Til next time!