Chapter 14

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"Oderint dum metuant"

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"Oderint dum metuant"

I felt like I am torn apart. The one person was hiding in the bathroom and the other one wanted to confront the Prince.

The first one won.

Sitting on the cold floor I felt my tears roll down my chin in my shirt. I didn't know why I am crying, but I knew I don't cry because he killed that guard.

I didn't even know him. It hurt me to see him killing, because everything that happened, he never killed anyone, but it was so wrong. He ended someone's life; the thin line, his existence - gone in second.

So that is why I hide in the bathroom.

The pain in my neck started approximately at the same time when I started to hickup. The liquid texture on my palm caused my brain to trigger even stronger hickup and with every second a wet thing just slid down my chest.

I screamed. That was my initial impulse. I didn't know what to do. I just looked at my hand, but not actually seeing it.

My mind was in another place.

What would happen if I locked the doors? That way no one could enter and I would be alone. Is the wound too big — can I die?

My head instantly came up to see is there a key, but it wasn't. The lock was empty.

I wanted to scream again, but I stopped myself. If I just stay quiet no one could find me. The Prince or maids won't know im here bleeding and my life could end. I don't have to end the same way as that guard. 

Oh my God, the blood on his face. Flashes of the blood running in air and spreading everywhere just played on repeat in my mind. It was just one bloody face after another. All girls standing in the front line had blood on their skirts; soldiers head fell somewhere in the dirt and his great executor just looked up at me, blood sliding down the sharp sword.

In here fun and murder are mixed so closely that you could change something for another. You could think you are having fun, but actually, you are doing some crime. For a Prince that was nothing, he couldn't get guilty, but for ordinary people, the line was extremely thin.

In a second you could cross it and there would be no swinging back.

My eyes looked up. The ceiling was so beautiful. The painting on it was beautiful. Represented something funny the way you should enjoy in this bathroom but I wanted to use it for my death.

My life meant nothing. Prince could kill me whenever he liked it, just like with that soldier. I didn't want to look at those sick games they preferred. I wanted to be in my regular cloth, not wearing Prince's shirt and feeling cheap.

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