Chapter 29

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"Res non verba"

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"Res non verba"

I wanted to put my hands around his body too. To touch him. To feel how he can be so cold, so untouchable.

I wanted to hurt him in so many ways. Like he hurt me. When he cuts my skin, rip my soul, and destroy feelings of comfort. Everything I had he possessed, and I did not.

I wanted him to feel my pain. My fear when I couldn't talk. How I feel insecure when he said horrible things to me. Maybe I pretend to be strong, unnoticeable but I felt every single thing he said, a hundred times harder.

I felt fear, pain, love, compassion, hate everything.

But one emotion feared me the most. That emotion I felt for him.

But, no. That is not just one emotion. That is a whole hank of emotions. There is hate, for hurting me, fear, of his look and actions, how he ends life in a second, how he feels nothing after that. And in some moments I feel the love that complicated emotion. I feel love toward his parents, Danniel, and even toward him.

That simple, moments on my terrace when he doesn't act like Prince when he acted like a normal person with some pretty horrible childhood.

I felt all of that and I'm sure that my eyes show everything, that every emotion, but looking in his only thing I can see is coldness.

Before I realised I was pushed against the wall and my back and my hand revolt. It hurts. I lost my breath, and I looked at him.

"You want to know?" He said shakily.

"You want to know what hurts me, what I hate, what I love, and what I desire the most? You want to know do I feel at all, am I just an animal, or I'm human after all?"

I looked at his face and how his eyes come from my face on my neck and back. He was looking for something.

I slowly moved my hand from his squeeze but he didn't allow me.

"You are staying here." He said in a husky voice.

I looked at his chest and I saw that he is breathing fast, just like me.

It wasn't the fact he threatened him. Maybe he finally realised I know him. I could sense his emotions just like he could mine. After all, it started because of my resistance. It had to be connected somehow.

If I really knew him, there wouldn't be a need for this question. But I didn't. I knew little parts he allowed me, and that was nothing.

I wanted to know.

"Fuck, yes." The curse never sounded better. It was like a most beautiful word on the planet because I said everything with it. My every emotion, I was named in front of him and he knew that.

He looked at me a few seconds and then I felt his lips on mine.

I felt.. I felt... I felt. I don't know what I felt.

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