a ballad, to you, fuckface. (trigger warning)

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WHY CAN'T I WRITE YOU INTO POETRY?

WHY CAN'T I BRING MYSELF TO BREAK BOTH YOUR JAWS?

WHY CAN'T I SCREAM TO THE WORLD ABOUT YOU?

WHY CAN'T I KILL YOU?

WHY CAN'T I SHATTER YOUR HEART INTO A MILLION FUCKING PIECES LIKE YOU DID MINE?

YOU STABBED MY HEART AND STABBED IT AND STABBED IT WITH A DAGGER DIPPED IN POISON,
AND EVEN WHEN THERE WAS NO LONGER ANY BLOOD LEFT TO BLEED OUT, YOU SQUEEZED MY HEART AND WRUNG IT OUT AND USED IT LIKE A WEAPON.
YOU HARNESSED THE WILD LOVE IN MY HEART
THAT WAS NEVER EVER MEANT TO BE TAMED.

YOU EXTINGUISHED THAT GIANT BONFIRE IN MY EYES WITHOUT WATER
YOU KILLED ME AND LEFT MY HEART BEATING.
YOU DROWNED ME AND LEFT MY LUNGS WORKING
YOU KILLED ME
YOU KILLED ME
YOU KILLED ME

I WAS AT MY OWN FUNERAL
YET YOU WEREN'T.
YOU DIDN'T NEED TO SEE ME IN A COFFIN
BECAUSE FINALLY SEEING THE LIGHT IN MY EYES WITHER AWAY AND DIE
WAS GOOD ENOUGH FOR YOU.

YOU MADE ME FEEL LIKE I WAS A BUG YOU "ACCIDENTALLY" STEPPED ON
YOU HAD THIS PLANNED OUT SINCE THE MOMENT I MET YOU
HOW COULD YOU
HOW COULD YOU

I TRUSTED YOU
I NEEDED YOU
I CARED FOR YOU
I LOVED YOU
HOW COULD YOU
HOW COULD
YOU!

YOU MAKE ME WANT TO SCREAM TILL THE STARS CAN HEAR
AND TAKE ME HOME.
YOU MAKE ME WANT TO PUNCH THROUGH BRICK AND CEMENT
YOU LEFT ME DOWN IN THAT DEEP DARK FLOODING WELL TO DIE.
YOU WATCHED AS I CRIED AND STARVED AND BLED
YOU WATCHED AS I DROWNED IN A SEA
THAT WAS NOT BLUE BUT RED
YOU WATCHED AS I SUFFOCATED ON MY OWN SHALLOW BREATHS
YOU WATCHED ME DIE
YOU WATCHED THE VINES SNAKE UP MY THROAT TO MY CHIN CHOKING MY FACE
YOU WATCHED THE DARKNESS TAKE HOLD
AND WATCHED THE LAST EXPRESSION ON MY FACE AND IT FROZE OVER MY HEAD
AND I HATE YOU
I HATE YOU
I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU
I FUCKING HATE YOU
WHY DID YOU DO THIS?
WHY WAS I YOUR PREY?
WHAT DID I DO?

YOU MAKE ME SICK
YOU ARE REASON FOR THE 48 CUTS ON MY LEFT WRIST
AND YES, I KEPT COUNT.
YOU ARE THE REASON I AM DEPRESSED
BECAUSE THE PAIN WAS SO AGONIZING,
THAT IT WAS NOT JUST EMOTIONAL PAIN.
IT WAS VERBAL AND PHYSICAL AND MENTAL
YET YOU ACT LIKE YOU DIDN'T DO ANYTHING
AND THAT IS WHAT FUCKING INFURIATES ME TO HELL!

I WANT TO SHATTER YOUR HEART INTO A MILLION FUCKING PIECES
I WANT TO STAB YOU WITH A DAGGER DIPPED IN POISON
AND WHEN THERE IS NO LONGER ANY BLOOD TO BE SHED
I WILL GRIP YOUR HEART AND SQUEEZE
AND WRING IT OUT AND USE IT AS A WEAPON.
I WILL HARNESS THE WILD LOVE IN YOUR HEART THAT IS MEANT TO BE TAMED
AND I WILL MAKE IT BOW DOWN ON ITS KNEES IN FRONT OF ME.

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