and if someone were to ask me
if i had a home
i don't believe i could reply, yes.
i'm sitting on my bed typing this but i don't think i could say yes
boxes lay around my room and throughout the house ready to be taken to somewhere new
but i don't think i could say yes
i'm closer to him than anyone i've ever been and i've replaced her with someone new
but i don't think i could say yes
i spend half my life on this game, casting spells and being a hero, a savior.
i rescue worlds and i train myself to fight,
but i don't think i could say yes.
i rearrange the cards in my deck, but two new ones under the same name,
but i don't think i could say yes.
i'll succumb to these waves and spend the rest of my life in the deafening dark of the sea comforted by monsters just like me
but i don't think i could say yes
i get pizza every saturday night up there and i've got a place
but i wouldn't say yes.
i have a house i have a bed i have a pet i have food
i have friends i have other things and whatnots
i have a house i've lived in i have a house to live in but i don't think i could say yes
but sometimes i watch from afar at this world with legendary weapons, abilities unlike any other and voices calling out, i see it in photographs and recordings, i see it in my dreams and nightmares
and i dare to think to myself,
maybe i could say yes
but my home is not here and i don't belong
i don't fit in but not in terms of intelligence or fashion choices
but in terms of
my soul can't find its other piece and it's crying out in agony searching for where it belongs and it can't find a place can't find a place cantfindaplacecantfindaplace
and i tell it i'm sorry but i'm trying i'm trying
maybe if we lucid dream again we can find a place to call home
maybe if we close our eyes for one last time
maybe we can find a place to call home
maybe if i live
i will find a place to call home
but i will not last that long.
a lie such as that
seems like a fucking joke
you'll live.
oh baby
i haven't in decades
