and i explained that i'm not very good at singing high
so she told me i'm probably a soprano then.
and for a moment
all i could do
was stare at her.
for a moment i searched her face
i searched her face for an answer i knew i wouldn't find
and it hit me just how different i was.
these girls sing because of sole talent, they sing to impress, they sing to make money, get boys, find jobs.
i sing because it's all i have left of my mother, i sing because it makes me feel alive, i sing because it makes me feel the passion i will never get to truly experience, i sing because it keeps me alive, i sing because when i do i can feel the stardust swirling in my veins, the planets orbiting my head.
i searched her face looking for an answer
and it hit me that her singing is only as deep as the reef
and mine is as deep as space
and it hit me just how different i was
contrary to these girls.
that the answer i was searching for
was passion.
and so i would go farther
than these preppy, books-stacked-on-their-heads girls.
because for a moment
when i only stared at her
the gaping hole that existed where she spoke
became visible to me.
because for a moment
i realized what set us aside from one another
i realized i had something
that these choir girls would never have—
passion.
so when you ask me why don't i just join choir
well, there's your answer.
i know i can sing.
i know.
