i am not mourning you
i am mourning the part of you that no longer exists.
i am mourning the piece of you that lost its way home that night
i am mourning the half of you that was accidentally left in my hands
i am mourning the bit of you that was left on that trampoline
i am mourning the chunk of you that was left in the footsteps abandoned in the gravel of the driveway
i am mourning the lot of you that was left behind in the cold to die
the part that i tried so desperately to nurture back to health
the piece that i refuse to let go of
the half that i cannot accept is gone
the bit i tried to get you to remember
but what i learned is you can't remember something that has been erased
for like a smear across a drying canvas, any memory of us during those months were smudged,
as if to not let anyone figure out the whole picture
as if to make sure no one put the pieces together
