i didn't know any better

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last night my father admitted to me
that the reason he had turned a blind eye
every time

was because he trusted my mother
more than he trusted me
he believed my mother
more than he believed me

he followed her words
instead of my bruises
instead of the handprint on my leg
instead of the handprint on my face

he thinks that's an excuse
i didn't know any better.
he thinks that's an excuse

i didn't know any better
she didn't take that as an excuse

my voice broke as i told him thanks
and he yelled
that he hadn't known any better

my dignity broke
as she yelled
that i had known better

he screamed at me that we need to talk about it
i kept my voice quiet and cried as i said
no we don't

he screamed at me to talk about it
he screamed at me
she screamed at me

he said let's talk about it
like it was christmas dinner

he said let's talk about it
like he didn't know any better

YOU'RE FUCKING 57
YOU KNEW BETTER

WHAT HAPPENED TO BEING MORE EXPERIENCED
BECAUSE YOU'RE OLDER?

HUH?
WHAT HAPPENED TO IT?

YOU FUCKING KNEW BETTER
AND YOU KNOW YOU DID


so when
you tell me

you are more experienced
because you're older

it boils my blood

because you

have

no

fucking

right

to

say

that

because you

deserve to have her kill me

right in front of you

because

i do not love you

and you

have never

ever

been

my

father




fuck you.

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