Victim (Glee)

12. Victim

Everything was so unclear to me. I felt like I was being played by three people. I felt like both Quinn and Brittany were still being fake when it came to being my friend, it also felt like Rachel was still hiding something from me. When I talked to Quinn on the phone on Friday, she said her and Brittany wanted to come hang out with me but then when we went out from Domino's, Quinn was there - alone. Does that mean her and Brittany were together while I got the phone call and they pulled a little acting scenario to make it look like Brittany lived there just so Quinn could stalk me, or, was Quinn really telling the truth?

For months I had been thinking that maybe I started to feel better here, maybe I didn't miss my friends anymore. Bullshit. After what happened on Friday, I miss home even more. Just when I thought Quinn started to be nicer, she starts threatening me. Really, it's not like I would say anything, I wouldn't tell everyone that she told me she likes me, something I now started to overthink and I seriously think she was messing with me. On the other hand though, if she really was messing, she wouldn't be so scared of me telling people. So I thought again and figured that she had to be serious about it. Quinn didn't text me since Friday either. Five days had gone, for me, it was much because I was used to getting at least one text from Quinn every day. I thought about texting her once but then I just stopped. I needed to get her out of my life, not invite her in. I was tired of the constant emotions of mixed signals. I mean, she wants to be my friend (at least that's what she says) but she still acts like a total bitch. Obviously, I can act like I total bitch too. It's not a big deal for me, I just didn't want to anymore. Not with Quinn, too much energy, too much power and thoughts were spent on her. I had enough and this time I meant it, I wouldn't say a word to her, I made my desicion. Even if she spoke to me, I would just walk by her or turn my face.

****

"Rachel, I'm so sorry she's like that. It's going to be okay.." I stroked her back with my hand, I held her head against my chest as she kept crying and crying.

I had been walking across Quinn talking to Rachel in the library, I was looking for Tina and she used to hide right were Quinn and Rachel were talking. It was in the empty corner of the library, no one used to go there. There was never even much people inside our school library, most people didn't prefer being in there. It smelled like old books and dust. I hid behind one of the book shells and tried to listen to them but I couldn't hear much. All I noticed was that Quinn sounded really angry. I wanted to walk closer just to hear them but I didn't want to risk being seen by Quinn. Then when Quinn left, I could hear Rachel crying and I couldn't just stand there watching her.

"I-I.."

"It's okay, it's okay" I held her closer.

"I didn't do anything.." the sound of her voice got even softer because she was crying "she just pulled me in here and to-" her voice cracked "she told me to stop looking so sad all the time, she said I was being selfish.. I don't know why she's being like that."

"Don't cry, Rachel. I know this is hard for you, she's tough to deal with.. I'm here for you, all your friends are here for you. I promise, me, Tina and Mercedes are going to help you get better." I said, Rachel pulled away from my chest and dryed her eyes with her sleeves. Some of the mascara that had been running down her eyes was still there.

"Thank you, Santana. You're such a nice person.. When you want to be" she forced out a laugh. "I didn't get angry with you when I found out it was Quinn who texted and called - I was just really devastated. That's why I ran away, I couldn't stay with you guys because I knew a mental breakdown was coming my way." Rachel sighed loudly and sat down with her back straight. "I was so sad about the fact that it was her because it showed that she was being unfaithful to me. Everything just piled up inside me, that was the last drop.. You know? I couldn't hold everything in. And now, she did this in school.. I didn't mean to cry like this. I'm a mess.." she smiled out of awkwardness.