Weekly Randoms Vol.2

Beautiful Remains

Title 10/4

Cover 10/10

Summary 20/0

Plot 40/25

Character(s) 5/5

Realism 5/1

Writing 10/8

Total 100/53

80/53 = 66.25%

Reads - 884

Votes- 66

Comments- 25

PG-13

First Upload May 20, 2012

Last Upload June 11, 2012

Fan Fiction and Romance

5 parts (4 pages)

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Notes!!

There are 6 stories besides yours that is titled the same and yours isn't the first couple that show up. I'm not a BVB fan, but I take it this must be the title of a song or Album of theirs.

I couldn't give you any points for a summary because you don't have one.

Do you not press the space bar after periods and commas? Everything looks pressed together like that.

The pace of the story is really really fast and that takes away from the realism as unbelieveable as it is.

I would believe that anyone who is being abused wouldn't come right out and say it, no matter who the person is. Abuse is something most often than not the abused person is ashamed of.

And the logical reaction for any sane person would be to surrport the abused person and try to get them to call the police. Not tell a complete stranger to stay with them.

Your story has hardly any detail (from what I read). Describe the surroundings, use the 5 sense when you write to paint the full picture. As someone who doesn't really know the difference between the members of BVB (or even how many there are) it's your job as the writter to tell me. All I really got from your story is that they wear all black and one has a deep voice.

I gave your plot a 25 because I've honestly heard it before. Just with different people.

And with what I read I don't see how it can evolve into anything more that this one deminson love story with somebody famous.

Everyone knows where this story is headed, but they just don't know how long it's gonna take to get there.