Take a Chance

Thirty

A/n hello!!!!!!!! Hope you like it!!!! So I hope you enjoy. I really have nothing else to say expect for enjoy!

[Shawn]
People would ask why I haven't told my girlfriend or even my family that I'm being deployed early. And here's the answer.
You finally feel the love you've been longing for, been wanting for forever, and you thought you had it before, but you didn't. Not even close.
But now you have the love you want. The unconditional love that everyone talks about or happens in the movies. I finally have that. I finally know what that's like. I can finally say "I'm in love." and truly mean it.
So after you have that love that everyone talks about, you have that love and you hold onto it, and boom it feels like it will be swiped from you.
I want to tell Meghan that I will be deployed early, I want so badly to tell her the biggest secret that I've been holding fir weeks.
But can't.
I can't pull myself to tell that beautiful pure face that I'm leaving early and crush her. She expects me to leave, but doesn't expect me to leave early. No one does.

People would probably call me insane for not telling her, hell my mother would tell me I'm crazy. Here the woman who I love so so much and hopefully see a future with her if she lets me, and I can't tell her I'm leaving. The thought of her leaving would kill me more than someone shooting me execution style. I thought I knew what heart break was; but I never knew what it was until I met Meghan.
The thought of her not loving me anymore frightens me so much. The thought of getting a letter fro, her like I did when Jenna sent that letter to me kills me from the inside out. I thought I knew what pain was.
But in reality I never knew what pain was until Meghan came into my life.

Meghan is fast asleep, looking so delicate and pure. Her long eyelashes laying on the pillow, seeing her chest heave up and down.
I sit on the edge of the bed, my head in-between my knees running my hands through my curls feeling frustrated.
I tug at the curls trying to close my eyes and fall into the slumber Meghan is in, but can't. All I can think about is telling her, and what she will say or do.

I hear my phone ring loudly making me jump from the sudden noise in the room, and quickly retrieve it seeing Meghan's face become all scrunched and completely freezing, hoping she falls back asleep.
Her face softens making me relieve some stress and answer my phone seeing Brian is calling.
"Hey Bri, what's up?" I say tying to sound tired, but fail sounding like I've been up for hours, which I have.
"Shit, did I wake you?" Brian asks knowing my answer will be no.
"No, dude what's up?" I say covering my hand with my face rubbing it, wishing sleep would wash over me.
"I'm being deployed early, Sarg just called." Brian says sounding rather happy than anything. Glad he's enthusiastic. "Did Sarg call you?" He asks sounding like a child about to go to Disney land.
"Yeah, he called about two and a half weeks ago." I say looking over my shoulder hoping I'm not waking Meghan.
I gently get up walking to the bathroom hoping she doesn't feel the bed raise again.
"Why don't you sound very happy?" Brian asks finally picking up on my short answers.
"It's just different this time." I say sitting on the covered toilet seat.
"It's her isn't it?" Brian asks, meaning Meghan. I look up from my knees and smile just thinking of her; but it soon fades thinking of her face when I tell her I'm leaving.
"Yeah Bri, it's her. It's Meghan." I say shaking my head.
"Have you told her?" He asks trying to lighten the mood.
"Nope." I say popping the p while shaking my head.
"What about your folks? Have you told them?" Brian asks.
I let out a huff and shake my head. "No, I haven't told anyone except you."
"What the fuck dude, you need to tell someone! At least tell your parents. At least you know they will always love you." Brian says trying to speak positively.
"But I want Meghan to always love me too." I say sounding utterly weak.
"Tell her dude. She needs to know. You just gonna tell her the day of and leave? Dude that would be fucked up." Brian says trying to put some sense into me.
"I just don't want her to not be in my life. I'm afraid of her response." I say sounding shaky.
"Take a chance. Only way you will know is to tell her. Tell her. She needs to know. And if she loves you, she won't be a dick and leave, and if she is them lets torture her." He says with a chuckle making me not like that answer.
"No, we won't torture the person I love, even if she doesn't love me. But Bri I gotta go. I'll call you later or somethin'."