Things we lost | c.g fanfic [heavily editing bc I suck]

Chapter 7

It's been five months since Carl and I's talk. I was right in saying no, things just couldn't work like that. But I don't know what I feel towards him. I'm trying to convince myself my brothers in a better place now, but I'll never be able to completely forget what happened. I'll never be able to forgive him like that when he's a constant reminder that my family is gone. We're friends though, but that's all I want to be.

A few weeks ago, Rick brought in a whole other group. Technically it was a town. Carl told me they were from a place called Woodbury, which was being run by a guy who named himself The Governor. This guy went insane and killed a bunch of people apparently. He's a very power hungry man from what I've been told, and that's dangerous. Carl seemed pissed about letting them all in at first, but I told him that the most of them were just innocent people with nowhere else to go. Now he's less reluctant to look at one of them and he made one friend, I think his name was Patrick. It's a start I guess. Whereas in getting friendlier with Beth, the daughter of Hershel... The man who tried to save Tom.

"Hey Zo," Carl says as he walks into the room. I smile and put down the book I was reading. I love reading. It takes my mind of things and I get to live a different life for however long I'm reading. I'm always sad when I finish a book but I always made Carl grab me one on a run.
"Hey," I say, standing up to hug him. He puts his arms around my waist, placing his hands around my hips, and mind go around his neck. "How was the run?" I ask before pulling away. He pulls out his gun and sets it on the small desk adjacent to our bed as we speak; whilst I'm making the bed. We did abandon to bunk bed system when I started getting nightmares again, and now we share the bottom bunk. It helped.
"We lost Zack, Beth's boyfriend. Walkers were on the roof... They broke the damn thing. It was awful. You think you've seen everything and then you see falling fucking walkers." He sighs, putting his face in his hands.
"I'm sorry," I say, turning around to look at him. He walks into my arms and stands silently.
"It's okay. He's not the first, he won't be the last. That's why it's getting to me. I'm sick of loosing everyone." He mumbles into my neck.
"We won't lose anyone else," I say, my voice going up an octave at the end. "You won't lose your dad, or Judy. Or anyone else here at the prison. We're a family, all of us. Linked together in different ways." He nods as we pull away.
"But you say that, yet I'm the reason your brothe-"
"Don't. I don't want to remember, I want to forget about it all. Just don't bring it up, ever." I scowl, becoming annoyed. He nods, a look of shame in his eyes but I feel no sympathy. He knows not to brings up Tom. He knows it hurts. Yet he still does it.
"It's good to talk about him..." Carl says softly. I shake my head.
"Not with you."